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writing

The Books I Recommend Most

May 31, 2015 By Michele Woodward 3 Comments

 

Lovely reader David suggested I create a list of the work-and-business-related books I recommend most frequently to clients, friends and the occasional passerby. “What a grand idea!” I exclaimed, after reading David’s email suggestion.

In making this list, I first thought to sort them by category or subject matter but then realized that many of the overlap and reinforce one another. Plus, sorting is hard work.

So, below find the 20 books I recommend most frequently and heartily:

For those who are starting anything new: The First 90 Days: Proven Strategies for Getting Up To Speed Faster and Smarter by Michael Watkinsfirst 90 days

For those who want to get organized, be more efficient and freaking nail it: Nine Things Successful People Do Differently by Heidi Grant Halvorson

For those who need to focus on interpersonal relationships and communications: No One Understands You And What To Do About It by Heidi Grant Halvorson

For those who may be an eensy bit glass-half-empty: Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D.

For those making change: Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes by William Bridges

For those who aspire to go bigger: The Talent Code: Greatness Isn’t Born. It’s Grown. Here’s How. by Daniel Coyle

For those changing jobs: Career Strategy: Find A Job, Grow A Career by Michele Woodward

For those who want to amp up their motivation, or the motivation of others: Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by Daniel H. Pink

tipping pointFor those who want to influence others: The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make A Big Difference by Malcolm Gladwell

For those who feel swamped when having difficult conversations: Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Patterson, Grenny, et al.

For those who would like to lead or who are leading: The Soul of Leadership: Unlocking Your Potential for Greatness by Deepak Chopra

For those who might find themselves stuck and dealing with deep-rooted shame: Daring Greatly:How The Courage To Be daringgreatly_final525-resized-600Vulnerable Transforms The Way We live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown, Ph.D.

For those who might have tiny perfectionism and control issues: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed  To Be And Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown, Ph.D.

For those who need to understand forgiveness: How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, The Freedom Not To By Janis Abrams Spring, Ph.D.

For those who’d like to understand why men hog the remote: What Could He Be Thinking? by Michael Gurian, Ph.D.

For those who seek meaning and purpose: Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor FranklGeography of loss

For those dealing with loss and grief: The Geography of Loss: Embrace What Is, Honor What Was, Love What Will Be by Patti Digh

For those focusing on integrity, honor and their own alignment: The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide To Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz

four agreementsFor those who would like to write: Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott

For those women finding themselves in mid-life crisis: When The Heart Waits: Spiritual Direction for Life’s Sacred Questions by Sue Monk Kidd

Are there other books I recommend? Sure, but these are the ones that most often get recommended to my clients as they work toward their goals. And, just a note, every link you see on this post is directly to Amazon.com. If you purchase through one of these links, I will make a small commission (very small, trust me). Just want to be upfront about that.

I’m looking forward to hearing what you think about these books – have you read them? Have they affected your life?

I sure hope so. Because they certainly have affected mine in ways large and small, and continue to do so every single day.

 

Filed Under: Authenticity, Blog, Books, Getting Unstuck, Uncategorized Tagged With: authors, carol dweck, Chopra, Digh, First 90 Days, Halvorson, Malcolm Gladwell, recommended books, resources, Ruiz, Watkins, writing

When You’re Not On Fire

February 3, 2014 By Michele Woodward 3 Comments

bigstock-match-and-match-box-on-white-b-31472885

 

You know what? I started writing this post last Tuesday.

Got a couple of sentences together, then deleted them because they were stupid. Thought I’d start again on Wednesday.

Wednesday came and went in a flurry of meetings and appointments.

Thursday. On Thursday, I vowed to start again.

I really did.

Thursday came. Wrote no lines. Not even one sentence.

And then, of course, it was Friday and everyone knows that no one writes on a Friday.

Saturday was a chore day. I amused myself by running themes through my mind as I mopped, convincing myself that something brilliant would emerge.

It didn’t.

Today, I sat at the keyboard at 9am.

Until 10am.

Then, with no advance notice, it was 11am.

No words. No. Words. Came.

I decided that I would take a walk and think about what to write. And, to kill two birds with one stone, I decided to walk at the grocery store.

This strategy failed.

Then, I had lunch, imagining food would help.

It was delicious but no ideas came into my head.

I returned to the keyboard in search of something, anything, to say to you. To inspire you, to motivate you, to help you do that thing you really want to do.

And…I got nothing.

So, that’s what I’m going to leave you with. If you find yourself feeling like there’s something you should do but you find that day after day you don’t actually do it – well, then you owe it to yourself to take a break. And figure out how to get on fire about it so you can begin again.

I think all of us get to this place from time to time – when it feels like we’re pushing a rock uphill. When things really don’t flow. When we’re just not on fire. 

When those moments happen, just relax. And wait for the spark. Because it will come.

It always does.

It may look different than what you expected, but there is going to be a spark of a great idea. And a big, creative, warming fire.

Got a match?

 

Filed Under: Blog, Clarity, Getting Unstuck, Uncategorized, WiseWork Tagged With: inspiration, motivation, resistance, writing

Best Books of 2012

December 30, 2012 By Michele Woodward 6 Comments

 

Ta da! It’s my annual list of the best books I read this year – with deep thanks to eagle-eyed Betsey W. who reminded me to pull this together before the end of the year.

It looks like I read 49 books this year, both fiction and non-fiction. I say “it looks” like I’ve read that many because my ace tracking system fell apart and I’ve had to reconstruct my reading list from my Amazon order list and rather sketchy memory. I do know that during this summer’s Derecho storm, where we went without power for five days, I reached into my bookshelf for something(s) to read – five days without a Kindle is vexing! And that’s an interesting thing about this year’s list – I only bought two of the books I recommend in traditional binding format. The rest were all digital e-books.

Interesting little factoid.

So let’s get on with the books, shall we?

FICTION

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern. This book was unlike anything I’ve ever read and doesn’t neatly fit into any one category. It is in it’s own fantasy-magical-historical-science fiction-romance category, I guess. So, how to sum up the story? Well, there’s this circus and it only opens at night, and the performers are odd, and there seem to be tent after tent of delights and daring, and people become so addicted to it that they travel the world following the circus like 19th century Deadheads. And there are two shady older men who send a boy and a girl into the circus to battle one another, and, of course, the young couple falls in love which thwarts the intentions of the older men. Or does it? Astonishingly well-written and utterly captivating.

What It Was by George Pelecanos. Now you must understand that I adore the writing of George Pelecanos. He’s a Washington, DC-based crime writer and writes about our mutual hometown with a clear eye yet deep love. What It Was is set in the DC of my teenage years, and Pelecanos not only crafts a story about 1970s drug crime in the Nation’s Capital but does it with spot-on details from that era – Hahn Shoes, Reeve’s Restaurant, and Roberta Flack and Donnie Hathaway singing at Carter Barron Ampitheatre.

The Given Day by Dennis Lehane. Now you must further understand that I avoid most of the books at the top of the bestseller list. If it’s 50 Shades of anything, or Grisham, or Clancy, or Baldacci, I’m going to skip those and go to something else. So I had avoided Dennis Lehane due to his popularity. I was stupid. This is a great book, totally up my alley – a sweeping family drama set against racial upheaval and political turmoil. I loved it, and I apologize to Dennis Lehane profusely.

Prisoner of Heaven and The Rose of Fire novella by Carols Ruiz Zafon. This writer is one who makes me wish I could read in Spanish, because even though the translation is done by Lucia Graves, daughter of poet Robert Graves, I imagine it’s even more lyrical in the author’s native language. Ah, well. I loved Zafon’s first book The Shadow of The Wind, and his second The Forgotten Cemetery, and these two new offerings continue the story of Daniel Sempere with a close focus on the story of his friend Fermin Romero de Torres. Zafon gets characterization like few other writers, and I love the way he edges close to mystical fantasy in all he writes.

The Fault In Our Stars by John Green. Teen girl fiction is always a guilty pleasure for me, but this book is exceptionally well done and gripping. Teenage cancer patients meet, fall in love, travel to Europe and cope with their diseases. It’s a four hankie book, friends, but one I am glad to have read.

John Saturnall’s Feast by Lawrence Norfolk. This is one of the two books I bought in hardcover this year because the review I read noted that the paper and quality of the book was remarkable (it is) and that every chapter begins with a recipe (it does). Knowing that recipes and Kindle do not mix well, I bought the book and once it was in hand I was glad I had. It’s a rich and sumptuous book set in England in the Middle Ages. John Saturnall is an orphan whose mother taught him the ancient religious ways of living and of cooking. He rises to head cook for a lord, and falls in love with the lord’s daughter – mostly by cooking for her. It’s about time men realized the way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach, too!

The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling. OK, I struggled with this book. Its themes are hard to handle, and the situations portrayed are not easy. And there were times when I resisted the book. But then I finished and I couldn’t stop thinking about it – a hallmark of worthy fiction, don’t you think? Ultimately, it’s about community and love and connection, I think (I’m still thinking on this one – but read it).

The Legend of Broken by Caleb Carr. Another book that is somewhat category-defying. Caleb Carr wrote the excellent The Alienist, a story of the beginnings of psychological profiling in police work, but this new book is nothing like that at all.  In the kingdom of Broken, the priests and god-kings value physical perfection so banish anyone less than perfect. These people become the tribe of Bane, who exist in nearly perpetual war against Broken. Set in Germany in about 750 A.D., Carr laces the language with slightly Germanic phrases – just enough to make the reader think. And, the perfection of Broken echoes the rise of the Aryan nation of the Nazis. It’s written in a nearly archaic style which takes some getting used to, but once you do the story comes alive.

The Beautiful Mystery by Louise Penny. I am a devotee to the Inspector Gamache series penned by Louise Penny and the newest offering does not disappoint. Gamache and Beauvoir find themselves in an isolated monastery in Canada, summoned to investigate the murder of the abbot. The murderer must be a monk – but who? As Beauvoir struggles with addiction, Gamache struggles with police department politics, making for a multi-layered and satisfying mystery.

Song of Ice and Fire series by George R.R. Martin. I read all of ’em this year. All seven books. Well, I skimmed #5 to tell you the truth but it was mostly character development of secondary and tertiary characters, so… Anyway, the books of George R.R. Martin have become the HBO series Game of Thrones, and I must say the first four books are wonderful. The last three in the series? Seem to me to be affected by the popularity of the first four. So read the early books to discover kingdoms and lands quite different from ours, yet much the same. Political intrigue, love, murder, dragons – all part of the drama which Martin has created.

NON-FICTION

Nine Things Successful People Do Differently by Heidi Grant Halvorson. I read the Harvard Business blogs daily, and have found myself more than once nodding and agreeing with something I’m reading only to glance up and see that what I like has been written by Heidi Grant Halvorson. In this short book, Halvorson presents research on, and practical steps to achieve, the nine things successful people do differently. Like, for instance, using “If/Then” constructs to organizing yourself (“if it’s Tuesday, then I have a meeting with Jill.”) Very helpful.

Just One Thing: Developing A Buddha Brain One Simple Practice At A Time by Rick Hanson. Neurological research is fascinating, and in this book Rick Hanson gives one daily practice you can institute to achieve a healthier brain and a less-stressed you.

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brene Brown. What I love about Brene Brown is her sense of humor. No, I love her insight. Wait, maybe what I love is how she tells a story. Gah! I guess I love all of it! In this book, Brown uses her research into vulnerability and shame to help people move beyond fear toward authentic and purposeful action. It’s inspiring, and hopeful yet eminently doable. A great book.

Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson. Funny, I used to think of Steve Jobs as an arrogant visionary in a black turtleneck. Now, I think of Steve Jobs as a very human arrogant visionary in a black turtleneck. Isaacson’s journalistic approach to the rise of technology in Silicon Valley and the trials and tribulations of Steve Jobs as he navigated it all made the story gripping and compelling. I literally could not put it down.

Shakespeare’s Common Prayers: The Book of Common Prayer and the Elizabethan Age by Daniel Swift. Yes, I am a Shakespeare freak (and, yes, I do have an authorship theory which I am not going to share with you at this moment). And this book – which reads more like a graduate level textbook than anything – chronicles the development of the Anglican Book of Common Prayer and illuminates how Shakespeare used this volume to add nuance and color to the plays and the sonnets. Fascinating.

For 2013, I will keep a running list – promise – and will, from time to time, post book recommendations on my Facebook page. Are we friends there?

And what are you reading? What did you like this year? Got anything you’d recommend? I’d love to hear about it… because I need something good to read!

Looking for more recommendations? You can see the list for 2010 here, and the list for 2011 here.

 

 

[Just a note, each of these books are linked to Amazon.com for your convenience. If you purchase via this link I will possibly make nineteen to twenty cents on each sale – this is called an “affiliate link” and by law I am required to disclose that I will make this staggering sum of money if you choose to purchase anything I’ve recommended in this post.]

Filed Under: Career Coaching, Happier Living, Uncategorized Tagged With: authors, best books of 2012, books, reading, writing

300 Daggone Blog Posts

April 15, 2012 By Michele Woodward Leave a Comment

This is my 300th blog post.

Three hundred.

That’s three hundred Sundays. Three hundred individual posts of about 600 words each – more than 180,000 words over the last six years.

And, upon review, probably at least ten thousand exclamation points! [What can I say, I’m enthusiastically excitable!]

That first post, on October 26, 2006, didn’t even have a title.  It just said:

“Each week, I’ll be writing here on a topic of interest. As an Executive Life Coach, I work everyday with people who question whether they’re in the right job — or the right relationship. They ask how they can have more satisfaction in their lives, how they can be clear on their values and goals, how they can find and live their passions…

I’ll be addressing these things and others — so check back in every Monday for thoughts, tips and resources to help you make the most of your life!”

[Note how I laid down an exclamation point right at the end – first of many, obviously.]

The next blog post, Context is Everything, makes me wince, and squinch up my eyes like I do when I hear nails on chalkboard. Perhaps I’m like those actors who can’t bear to watch themselves on film – frankly, I prefer to write, get it out there and not look back. Re-reading this one, I sense my first-time uncertainty, anxiety, worry, what-the-hell-am-I-doing fear. Poor little old nervous 2006 me.

But you have to start somewhere, and that was my start.

People often ask me how I can write 600 words every week for so many years. Where do the ideas come from? What’s my process?

I usually make up an elaborate story about struggle, sacrifice, and angst (and pirates or Vikings) that seems to satisfy them, they go away and I feel extremely relieved.

Because the truth is, I have a weird process – if you can even call it that.

Here’s what I do: I start looking for a topic in the beginning of the week. I keep my ears open and hear what my clients and friends are talking about. Throughout the week, I turn ideas over and play with phrases and concepts.

And then on Saturday, or even Sunday, I sit down to write. Doesn’t take too long.

Because it’s pretty much fully written in my head.

When I look at that very first post – where I promised to write on topics of interest to you – kind of astounding in retrospect that I’ve hewed pretty close to those subjects for nearly six years.

And I appreciate each of you who read what I write. I appreciate your kind notes to me after you’ve read something I’ve posted. I appreciate the thoughtful comments you leave at michelewoodward.com.

I love when you suggest topics.

I really love that.

But most of all, I so very deeply appreciate that every week you invite me into your lives. You allow me to share my thoughts, my learning and my experience. You give me a place to be fully myself, and I write each week in the hope that you can have a place to be fully yourselves, too.

Yes, writing this blog has taken focus, and diligence, and – sometimes – courage.

But it’s been fun. And I’ve liked it. And you seem to like it.

So I’ll make this deal with you: If you’ll keep having me, I’ll keep going.

Who knows where the next 300 Sundays will take us, but it’ll be so great to get there together.

Exclamation point.

 

 

Filed Under: Authenticity, Clarity, Happier Living Tagged With: 300 blog posts, courage, Passion Test, writing, writing a blog

Inspiration Out Of The Blue

December 13, 2009 By Michele Woodward Leave a Comment



As I sit here on a Sunday morning, it’s raining outside – a steady, cold drizzle.

“Sunday morning?” you wonder. Isn’t that kinda late to be writing something that usually goes out on… Sunday?

Yep.

It is.

But I’ve struggled this week to find the right subject to write about. Just couldn’t find anything. I have, I fear, lacked for inspiration.

And when I find myself in this situation – oh, yes, believe me, it’s happened before – I step back, let my vision get all fuzzy, and see what happens.

And guess what?

Something happened this morning. Something that brought a great topic right into focus. And I wasn’t even looking for it. Cool, huh?

It happened when I read novelist Ann Patchett’s great piece in the Washington Post this morning. I am fond of Ann Patchett’s writing. You may know some of her books – Run, Bel Canto, The Patron Saint of Liars. In the Washington Post, Patchett writes that she fears she doesn’t treat her writing as if it’s a full time job, and resolves to do so in 2010. At least for the first 32 days of the year. Because, you see, a friend told her that doing something different for 32 days will make a permanent change.

So, Ann Patchett, 46 year-old author of five novels, two non-fiction books and a zillion essays and articles needs to make her writing a full-time job?

Funny, that. And familiar.

See, this week two different people told me that I didn’t work full-time.

I know. Me. Not full-time. Funny, right?

And I think it’s all about their idea of what full-time looks like. It’s all about quantity over quality. As if being chained to a desk for 60+ hours a week is the only respectable measure of full-time work. And the idea that you can set office hours, and not work on weekends, and make a respectable living is a mind blower.

Did you know that there are 42 million Americans who are self-employed, freelance or do temp work? That’s 30 percent of our workforce. Forty-two million people who decide what their work hours will be. Forty-two million people who make their own salaries, pay their own health insurance and fund their own retirement accounts. Forty-two million people who have decided for themselves what full-time looks like.

My dear friend Pam Slim, author of Escape From Cubicle Nation, tackles the subject of becoming one of the 42 million beautifully.

And I’m going to suggest her next book be titled Escape From Cubicle Mindset.

Because Cubicle Mindset says that the only work that’s valid is done from sunrise to sunset in an office, directed by a supervisor a pay grade above you, and rewarded with a steady, reliable, marginally increasing paycheck.

But Cubicle Mindset is woefully outdated. Cubicle Mindset tells us that there is only one way to make money. And be productive. And be valued.

And I disagree. And plenty of other people disagree, too. Forty-two million disagreers, actually.

Because I can make more money working on my terms than I have ever made working for someone else. And the best thing? I have time. I have time to create, to connect, and to let inspiration find me.

Oh, and it comes in the most unlikely places. Especially when I’m not looking. Or when I don’t look like I’m working.

And what Ann Patchett may find she’s missing when she moves to writing one hour a day to writing ten or how many ever hours she considers “full-time”, is the time to gestate. The time to let inspiration find her, maybe even find her while she’s at Costco with her mother. After 32 days she may have a quantity of words on paper, but as to quality?

Maybe she’ll write a book about it.

Filed Under: Career Coaching, Clarity, Getting Unstuck Tagged With: Ann Patchett, entrepreneur, inspiration, Pam Slim, writing

The Absence of Perfect

November 4, 2007 By Michele Woodward 4 Comments


I struggled with writing today. I couldn’t find the perfect opening sentence — the one line that would grab you and compel you to read on. The perfectly turned phrase. An ideal piece of writing that you would remember forever, and forward to your friends and family with a tear in your eye and a lump in your throat. The Great American Blog.

I just couldn’t get there. I had writer’s block. I was stuck.

So, I asked myself one of my favorite questions, “In the absence of the perfect solution, what are my options?”

In the absence of the perfect intro, my options were a) to not write anything, b)to just write something, c) to go shopping.

Just for the record, I chose b). As appealing as c) was. And I got unstuck.

When you’re stuck in any aspect of your life, ask yourself the same question, “In the absence of the perfect solution, what are my options?”

Being stuck is tough. Going neither forward, nor back — just standing in place, watching the world whirl by. Removed. Stuck.

Pursuit of perfection often leads to stuck-ness. “I can’t have guests until my house is perfect” or “I have to finish my MBA before I can apply for a new job” or “I guess I’m still single because I’m just too picky” — all statements in pursuit of perfection. All statements which keep us stuck.

Shooting for the ideal is what we’re taught from the time we’re dandled on grandma’s knee. “Don’t settle! Hold onto your dreams! You can be anything you want to be!” But the dark side to what your grandma told you is that sometimes holding on to the ideal prevents you from doing anything at all.

Which is safe. But stuck.

When I pursue perfection, I limit my vision to only that which corresponds to my narrow vision of “perfect”. According to advertisers, the perfect solution for any single woman is a hunky, hairless, pouting, slightly sweating guy who stares vaguely into the distance. Were I to hold on to that ideal, I would miss the OK-looking, kind, thoughtful, intelligent, slightly hairy available guy who would be a good partner for me.

Perfection is elusive. It’s a soap bubble of joy. It only exists when we’re not blowing too hard. Perfection is in the spontaneous hug of a four year old. It’s in the kindness of strangers. It’s there in a great big belly laugh. It’s in the last place you’d expect to find it.

Perfection ceases to exist the harder you look for it.

So, when holding out for the ideal prevents you from actually living your life, and keeps you stuck, know your options. Choose one that will enlarge your experience and allow you to grow.

When you do, you’ll stop being stuck. It’ll be perfect.

Filed Under: Authenticity, Career Coaching, Getting Unstuck Tagged With: attitude shift, being stuck, coach, deciding, ideal, options, Perfect, perfectionism, writing

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