Michele Woodward

Powerful Coaching. Powerful Results.

when to quit

OK, So Your Job Sucks

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You never really know how much dirt you’re living with until you get a new vacuum cleaner. Am I right?

Dog and vacuum cleaner

There you were, pushing that old machine all over your house, feeling rather smug that you were very neat and tidy. But then the old Hoover conks out and you replace it with a modern, technologically advanced vacuum and are astounded at how fast the bag fills up as you go over what you previously thought was a very clean house.

Of course, this is both something that happened to me and an apt metaphor. Isn’t that always the way?

So here’s what I see from my perch over here as your executive coach:

I see a bunch of you sticking it out in difficult, toxic, almost unbearable jobs. Sure, you can convince yourself that all is well, and that it’s not possible for anything to change.

But you’d be wrong. And, I’ll further bet that when you get the equivalent of a new vacuum, you’ll see just how dirty the whole thing really is.

Now, I’m not suggesting a mass resignation on the part of all of my readers.

While it would be fun to watch – sorta like a flash mob! – it’s not very realistic.

Over the years, I’ve helped people find a new way to manage difficult situations at work, and – let me tell you – it can be very rewarding to turn around a tough one. To go from feeling dread at the ding of the elevator on your floor to actually kind of liking it – amazing.

Oh, you doubt it can happen? Don’t doubt, sugar – I’ve seen it. Plenty of times, in fact.

So, shall we get to the how? How do you turn it around?

First, let me say one thing. There are just three factors which you need to consider when evaluating  how much your job sucks: people, learning and money. If one or more of these things are good, or even great, you’ll probably be able to find some happiness in your job. If all three suck, the job likely sucks.

So, to turn around a sucky situation, take a look at these three factors and see if you can shift any one of them. Could you take on a project so you can boost your learning in your role? Or take on a new attitude and attack old tasks with a new, learner’s fervor?

Could you find new people to associate with? Transfer to a different department? Conversely, if the only reason you’re staying is because of the people, but the money is bad and there is no learning – take a deep thought and ask yourself, “If, in five years, everything has stayed the same, how will that feel?” Act accordingly. 

And money. Always the old bugaboo – money. If you are underpaid for your role, there is but one thing you can do – ask for more. Now, people will say, “in this economy, blah blah blah”. But when your organization posts record profits, or gets a huge new foundation grant, it’s really hard for the brass to say with a straight face, “We’re broke.” Time your raise request to coincide with good news and make sure you have three strong examples of how your work impacted that healthy bottom line. Without some tangible achievements to back up saying “I deserve a raise”, your request is likely to be met with a profound “so what”.

Especially if your boss is a jerk. [see “people” above]

Now, my friend, let me say this: if you are in the truly icky situation of working with unpleasant people in a tedious and soul-sucking role you have down pat and fully memorized, and you’re also working for peanuts – then it is time to look for something new. Oh, yeah, you’ll tell yourself “in this economy, blah, blah, blah” but that’s like telling yourself your vacuum works perfectly well. When you know it doesn’t.

Because… dust bunnies.

Sometimes, when it comes down to it, the best possible thing you can do for yourself is to get a clean, fresh start. A new machine. With great power. And ergonomic controls that feel designed just for you. Oh, and it comes complete with a brand, spanking new HEPA filter.

Use that crevice tool, folks. It’s time for a thorough, clean sweep.

 

 

The Moment To Quit

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You’ve heard it, and I’ve heard it: “Winners never quit, and quitters never win.” This inspirational old saw spoken by parents, coaches, bosses and teachers has pushed many of us to dig deep and pull out satisfying success.

But it’s also pushed many of us to the breaking point, pursuing paths that are more grounded in what we “should be” rather than what we are.

That’s how we get lawyers who hate the law and can’t figure out why they went to law school at all, doctors who are frustrated with the practice of medicine and find their patients irritating, and teachers who’d really prefer to spend their waking hours playing guitar. Had they had the opportunity to quit at some point in the road, perhaps it would have made a difference not only in the quality of their lives but in the quality of the lives of those they touch.

On my radio show this week, I spoke with Dr. Heidi Grant Halvorson, author of one of my favorite non-fiction books of 2012: Nine Things Successful People Do Differently (Harvard Business Review Press). You can listen to the full interview here.HeidiGrantHalvorson

One of the Nine Things is “Have grit.” Which, to me, means persistence, determination and fortitude – more of that winners/quitters thing. So, naturally, I asked Heidi about the juiciest thing – the quitting part.

I asked her how to thread the needle on knowing when to stick to the plan, and when to hurl the plan out of the closest window.

She agreed that it’s an important moment. “For success and well-being, knowing when to throw in the towel is just as important as knowing when to hang in there.”

And the key question is:

“Why is it not working out?”

Oh, how I love that question.

If it’s because “I’m no longer interested, I’m not happy, I don’t like it, it’s not what I thought it was going to be” or “it’s costing me more in time and energy than I realized it would” then those are really good indications that it’s time to quit.

Because no amount of persistence and grit toward something that now feels flat and unimportant is going to transform it into something magically meaningful.

But what if you think you just need more time, or need to put in more effort? Halvorson suggests you ask: “Do I have those to give?”

Because you might have a lot of different things going on, and many, many demands on your time and attention. Putting any attention on something that just isn’t going to get you where you want to go… well, feel free to put your energy elsewhere.

Regardless of what anyone might say.

However, if you answer the question, “Why is it not working out?” with “I just don’t know that I have what it takes”, then persistence is precisely what is called for. As Halvorson said, “If it’s just self-doubt that’s making you feel bad, then that’s the time when grit and persistence pays off. Generally speaking, if you don’t have what it takes right now, you’ll have what it takes if you just hang in there.”

She reminded me that “All of our resources are limited so we do have to pick and choose.” It’s in the choice that we chart our best possible course.

And to wrap up this section of the interview, Halvorson reminded, “There are times when you have to hang in there and there are going to be times you have to say, ‘let it go’. And either answer can be the right answer.  Really happy and successful people do both.”

So don’t be afraid to quit. There’s no shame in it, and it doesn’t mean you are in any way “less than”. Just make sure you ask the right question and quit for all the right reasons.

 

It’s Quitting Time

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sunflower

So now you know what to do when you work with or for a real jerk. We talked about that last week and the week before that. You know that the first step is to see what you can do to shift the situation, and you know how to set boundaries, right?

Good.

But while doing that stuff will definitely make you feel better and get you much clearer, sometimes you’re just in a bad work situation that’s not going to change.

And the only thing to do is to exit, stage left.

But how do you know if quitting is the right thing? How do you know if you’re just running away?  This is the moment when so many of us freeze up and do… nothing.

Back in 2008, I wrote When To Quit, and while the world has changed a bit since then, the advice in that piece is just as valid today. You quit when you’re becoming someone you don’t like. You quit when you find yourself enjoying complaining about your soul sucking hellhole of a job more than leaving it. You change when the pain in staying outweighs the pain of leaving.

However.

In this economy, where unemployment is predicted to be high for the next couple of years, how do you leave a paying job? Do you just willingly enter the ranks of the unemployed?

No, that would be pretty stupid (unless, of course, you have a year’s expenses in savings and you’re willing to use it to fund your job search).

What you do is this – rather than spend your energy bitching about your job or feeling stuck, spend it in productive ways:

  • Commit to networking while you’re still in your job. And I’m not talking about the old way of networking, where you stand in a large ballroom tossing your business cards around like confetti.  No, today’s networking is Smart Networking. It’s about helping others, solving their problems, creating relationships. Join professional groups and take a leadership role.  Volunteer.  Get to know more people, so when you’re ready to make a move, you have a tribe of raving fans to support you.
  • Consider opening your own business. Now is a great time to start a business, especially when it’s centered in your strengths.  I recently coached an executive who had been unemployed for nearly a year.  We crafted a strategy where she went after a consulting contract – and she got two of them! One of which now wants to bring her on full-time.  I’ve talked with plenty of employers who are actively pursuing this path – bringing on consultants who then become employees, so it’s a valid, current path to full-time employment.
  • Build your outside-of-work life. When all your eggs are in your work basket, everything that threatens the basket is potentially cataclysmic.  Spread the eggs around.  Spend time with your spouse, your kids.  Take a class.  Read a freakin’ book.  Care less about your work and more about having a rich life.  And you may just find that the jerks at work bother you much less, because you’re spending time with so many nice people. Even some nice people who will help you find your next job.

It’s been said that quitters never win and winners never quit. But I know that’s not really true. In fact, I like Seth Godin’s take on it – winners know when to quit. Bill Gates? Quit the tablet PC rather than throwing more money at the problem. And no one would call Gates a loser (unless they happen to work for Apple – just sayin’).

Quitting is a hard thing to do. I know this. Remember Failure and What I Did About It? But I’m here to tell you that quitting allows the space to open for something wonderful, empowering, lucrative and fun. If you need to quit for all the right reasons, go ahead – quit. I cannot wait to see what opens up for you.