Michele Woodward

Powerful Coaching. Powerful Results.

networking

Guess What? You Are Going To Be Judged

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In my line of work, I see so many nit-picky things hold people back from making real progress:

“Should I list my advanced degrees on my business card, or not?”

“Is the third word in the fourth line in the second section of my resume supposed to be ‘that’ or ‘which’?”

“I’ve read four books on how to structure the best elevator pitch, and I’m about to start a fifth. Then I can write mine.”

“My website isn’t finished so I can’t do anything now.”

“I don’t get LinkedIn so I’m not on there yet.”

When, really:

It’s better to have your “flawed” business card in a prospect’s hand than have it waiting, in a shopping cart, unprinted.

People get hired because of what they can do. Sometimes, a guy gets hired based on reputation – and a resume isn’t even required.

Conversations are so much more effective than orating a canned pitch you can’t remember anyway.

Folks got customers long before websites were even invented.

LinkedIn profiles are never finished – they are dynamic, ever-changing, always changing. Because you are always evolving.

It seems that the big fear is in putting yourself out there. Am I right? And there are often two twinned ideas woven into that fear:

1) I have do it right so everyone likes me, and 2) everyone is going to judge me.

So, in short, to get what I want I will have to attract a zillion people who are going to laugh at me and tell me I’m wrong.

No wonder we procrastinate.

The thought: “I have do it right so everyone likes me” gets reinforced every time someone tells you that the only way to fulfill your dream is to cast the widest net possible.

OK, there are 7.4 billion people on the globe – your job is to win each and every one of them over? I mean, there are people on this planet who don’t know who Jennifer Lawrence is – you will have to be more likeable than JLaw to achieve what you want to achieve?

That’s even more reason to procrastinate.

What I think you need, rather than 7.4 billion raving fans, is simply enough raving fans to refer you work, hire you, date you…whatever it is you’re looking for.

And the second thought: “Everyone is going to judge me”? Well, that is true.

You are going to be judged.

Human beings judge one another even though we all say we’re not the type who judges. If we’re honest, we know we do it. We may be trying not to do it, and getting better at not doing it, but sometimes judgment slips out.

People are going to look at you trying to do your thing and some are going to say you’re nuts. You’re misguided. You’re making a huge mistake.

And some of these people might just be people you love.

Which is hard.

So, why don’t we do this? Since we know how it works, why don’t we just assume people are going to judge, and – rather than seek to avoid and procrastinate – well, work with it.

As in: Those who judge you and find you lacking are among the 7,399,999,390 people you don’t need to worry about. [A recent study says the average person has about 610 ties in their overall social network – a robust enough group to help you find a job, launch a business, get a date, or find nearly anything you want to buy, if you ask me.]

You can’t win over everyone and you are going to be judged – that’s a fact.

Knowing that fact allows you to forget about whether the third word in the fourth line in the second section of your resume is absolutely perfect. It also allows you to know that the right people are absolutely out there, waiting to hear from you, and to help you make your plan a reality.

All you have to do is get out there and have connect with people. Your people.

Let yourself be known.

Be kind.

Have integrity.

Reciprocate.

And simply be the kind of person your 610 people can’t wait to help.

 

No Coincidence At All

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Rolling the dice concept for business risk, chance, good luck or

Carolyn is a lot like you. Sometimes she’s not sure that she’s doing the right thing.

See, after many years with the same employer, there was a “reorganization” and Carolyn lost her job. And as a woman in her mid-50s, she was worried about her job prospects.

You might go so far as to say she was slightly panicked.

OK, more than slightly.

When you haven’t done a job search in some time, the whole deal can feel overwhelming. Do you work with a recruiter? What do recruiters do, anyway?

What happened to classified ads? How do you sort through all the websites?

Do you still even apply for jobs?

She was spinning, spinning, spinning and getting more and more panicked.

Fortunately, though, Carolyn found me. 🙂

And in our work together, she identified a company she’d long admired where she’d love to work.

Since you all know I’m all about The Connector Strategy – activating your network to help you – Carolyn got busy identifying people she knew at the Ideal Company. By going to her network with a strong ask, she actually landed a phone call with an executive there!

“Yay,” you listlessly mutter. “That’s what’s supposed to happen.” Sheesh.

But there’s more.

The day before that phone call, Carolyn went to a charity lunch and sat at one of those big round tables charity lunch organizers around the planet have agreed to use. Big tables of eight or ten with drooping tablecloths and not enough bread baskets.

You’ve got the vision in your mind, I know you have.

There our heroine Carolyn sits. Tomorrow’s the big call with the networked friend-of-a-friend! She’s running over her key points in her mind, turning them over and over…

And two people sit down at the same table.

Carolyn introduces herself.

Small talk ensues.

And guess what?

Guess where these two people work?

Guess what department one of the heads?

Yes! Carolyn finds herself sitting next to the Senior Vice President Of Exactly What Carolyn Wants To Do from the Ideal Company Carolyn would love to work for!

Can you imagine?

And the rest of the charity lunch went well and I assume there were air kisses upon departure and Carolyn was over the moon.

Three great, strong connections within Ideal Company!

Now, the doubt started. Now, Carolyn began to worry if she’d done the right thing.

Should she have had the phone call with Friend-of-Friend first? Should she not have mentioned Friend-of-Friend to the Senior Vice President? Or was that good?

How do you follow-up in the right way? Was she being too forward? Oh, gawd, what if she’d already blown it?

Fortunately, Carolyn has me.

And I write this now for all of you who begin to orbit the building in worry and anxiety when you’re not sure of the right thing to do. Here’s my advice: “Worrying is a waste of time. All you need to do is to get honest.”

If you want to say to the Senior Vice President, “It was so great to meet you. I’d love to work on your team!” – then say it.

There may not be a job there now, but leaders appreciate honest enthusiasm – especially when it’s expressed about the work the leaders do – and when an opening does come up, guess who’ll be at the top of the list?

Your old views of what’s proper may look like this: One must be reserved. One must follow protocol. One must wait to be asked.

Well, those old views – are they helping you get what you want?

If you find yourself in a happy coincidence (which some might say was No Coincidence at All) where what you want seems to show up like magic, and you ask: “What do I say now? What’s the right thing to do?”

I suggest you say, in whatever words you want to use, the equivalent of: “This is great! I’d like some more of this, please.”

Did Carolyn land a job at the Ideal Company, working in the Department Of Exactly What She Wants To Do for the Senior Vice President she met at lunch?

Don’t know yet. But what we do know is that when Carolyn stopped worrying and started getting specific about what she wanted – stuff started happening.

Which is the only thing you and I need to remember.

 

 

Planting Seeds

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Take a seed.

Put it in some dirt. Maybe add some compost.

Now, water it.

Then, do the hardest part: walk away.

I mean it, walk away.

Because if you worry whether the seeds are germinating, doubt whether they’re growing – pull them up to check the progress? You’ll kill the plant.

Growing things calls for patience.

Even if it’s growing your career, your business, your practice, your network. Your love life, your family, your friendships. Whatever you’re growing, you need patience, baby.

And you need to plant seeds. Every single day.

Plant plenty, because we all know that some seeds will not grow. Too much water, too much sun, not enough water, not enough sun – there are many reasons seeds don’t take root.

But you can’t take it personally. Just plant so many seeds that a few duds won’t make any difference.

Just keep planting, even in the most unlikely places.

Because some seeds can thrive in an improbable inch of dirt in a random crack in the sidewalk.

Want a new job as a lawyer? Talk to your periodontist.

Want to meet a new person? Ask the yoga instructor.

Need to meet someone at XYZ, Inc.? You’d be surprised to know that the softball coach’s younger brother is the CEO there.

Plant those seeds and water them with generosity and genuine kindness.

Let them develop roots.

Let them flourish and grow.

And when it’s time to harvest, you will have a bumper crop.

It’s Quitting Time

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sunflower

So now you know what to do when you work with or for a real jerk. We talked about that last week and the week before that. You know that the first step is to see what you can do to shift the situation, and you know how to set boundaries, right?

Good.

But while doing that stuff will definitely make you feel better and get you much clearer, sometimes you’re just in a bad work situation that’s not going to change.

And the only thing to do is to exit, stage left.

But how do you know if quitting is the right thing? How do you know if you’re just running away?  This is the moment when so many of us freeze up and do… nothing.

Back in 2008, I wrote When To Quit, and while the world has changed a bit since then, the advice in that piece is just as valid today. You quit when you’re becoming someone you don’t like. You quit when you find yourself enjoying complaining about your soul sucking hellhole of a job more than leaving it. You change when the pain in staying outweighs the pain of leaving.

However.

In this economy, where unemployment is predicted to be high for the next couple of years, how do you leave a paying job? Do you just willingly enter the ranks of the unemployed?

No, that would be pretty stupid (unless, of course, you have a year’s expenses in savings and you’re willing to use it to fund your job search).

What you do is this – rather than spend your energy bitching about your job or feeling stuck, spend it in productive ways:

  • Commit to networking while you’re still in your job. And I’m not talking about the old way of networking, where you stand in a large ballroom tossing your business cards around like confetti.  No, today’s networking is Smart Networking. It’s about helping others, solving their problems, creating relationships. Join professional groups and take a leadership role.  Volunteer.  Get to know more people, so when you’re ready to make a move, you have a tribe of raving fans to support you.
  • Consider opening your own business. Now is a great time to start a business, especially when it’s centered in your strengths.  I recently coached an executive who had been unemployed for nearly a year.  We crafted a strategy where she went after a consulting contract – and she got two of them! One of which now wants to bring her on full-time.  I’ve talked with plenty of employers who are actively pursuing this path – bringing on consultants who then become employees, so it’s a valid, current path to full-time employment.
  • Build your outside-of-work life. When all your eggs are in your work basket, everything that threatens the basket is potentially cataclysmic.  Spread the eggs around.  Spend time with your spouse, your kids.  Take a class.  Read a freakin’ book.  Care less about your work and more about having a rich life.  And you may just find that the jerks at work bother you much less, because you’re spending time with so many nice people. Even some nice people who will help you find your next job.

It’s been said that quitters never win and winners never quit. But I know that’s not really true. In fact, I like Seth Godin’s take on it – winners know when to quit. Bill Gates? Quit the tablet PC rather than throwing more money at the problem. And no one would call Gates a loser (unless they happen to work for Apple – just sayin’).

Quitting is a hard thing to do. I know this. Remember Failure and What I Did About It? But I’m here to tell you that quitting allows the space to open for something wonderful, empowering, lucrative and fun. If you need to quit for all the right reasons, go ahead – quit. I cannot wait to see what opens up for you.