• Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer

Michele Woodward

Powerful Coaching. Powerful Results.

  • Home
  • Coaching
    • Individuals
    • Executive Services
    • Groups
  • Resources
  • Books
  • Blog
  • About
    • Media Mentions
    • Speaking
    • Testimonials
  • Contact

listening

Pretty Thirsty

September 9, 2012 By Michele Woodward Leave a Comment

Probably the most important question I ask myself on a regular basis is:

“Michele, what do you want?”

Sometimes in a nod to my Southern heritage I even call myself “sugar” as in “Michele, sugar, what do you want?” Regardless of endearment, the question is a great way to check in and see what’s going on. Right here, right now – what is it I really want?

[Why, now that I’m thinking of it, I’m kind of thirsty so I’m going to go get some water.]

OK, I’m back.

Later, I will ask myself the same question and I may realize I haven’t had lunch yet, or I might want to sit down and write a bit on my new book project, or maybe I’ll want to take a minute and sit on the deck and feel the slight snap of autumn just coming into the breeze.

And some of you are thinking, “She constantly asks herself what she wants. That’s a bit…odd.” But you know what surprises me? I’m surprised that more people don’t do it.

It’s a simple practice, yet day in and day out in my work with clients, I see people who’ve forgotten that it’s possible to want something. I see people who have delayed and obeyed and contorted themselves to meet the expectations of others to such a degree that they can’t remember who they are.

Let alone what they want.

They have no preferences because there have been negative consequences for wanting something.

They’ve been told that their interests are stupid.

They’ve been disappointed so often that they’ve just stopped asking.

They go through each day in a sort of fog, feeling like there’s something missing and they don’t quite know what it is. And since they don’t know what it is, they don’t have a clue about how to get it.

They can’t remember how to listen to the little voice inside that says, “I’m thirsty”. They only get a drink of water if someone else is having one, too.

Now, I am not going all 60s Flower Child on you. I will not be quoting Crosby, Stills and/or Nash, and suggest that you “love the one you’re with” or “if it feels good, do it.”

No, I won’t. There’s something rather willy-nilly and potentially destructive in that messaging. Nope, instead I’ll give you this key:

Ask yourself what you want and be completely open to whatever you say in response.

No judgment.

No “it’s impossible”.

No concern about what anyone will think.

Just a simple question and an open answer.

It’ll change your life. Because you will be listening to yourself, and conscious of what’s really important. Remembering who you are.

Need some help to get started? Here you go:

“I want ___________.”

Now, what does this wanting tell you about yourself?

What do you want right now, you sweet, darling superstar?

Oh, you should see my grin just thinking of your answer, sugar.

 

Filed Under: Authenticity, Blog, Clarity, Getting Unstuck, Uncategorized Tagged With: expectations of others, inner voice, liking yourself, listening, motivation

The Inner Voice of “Now”

September 2, 2012 By Michele Woodward Leave a Comment

 

 

It’s important to listen.

To others – yes, most certainly. It’s a sign of respect to listen well, and fully.

But it’s a sign of self-respect to listen most closely to yourself.

And trust that inner voice that says, “now”.

The voice that says:

Rest, and do it now.

Speak, and do it now.

Walk, and do it now.

Run, and do it now.

At this very moment, my inner guidance is saying, “Be still. Be still, and do it right now.”

There’s some urgency to this stillness.

Like, “be still, Michele, until the tiger passes.”

Be still.

And observe.

Watch.

Learn.

Learn whatever you can in the stillness.

Then – you’ll know when the time is right – move.

So, I am.

Being still.

And preparing for when the time is right.

When the time is right to move.

Like a tiger myself.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Authenticity, Blog, Clarity, Getting Unstuck, Managing Change, Uncategorized Tagged With: career strategy, inner voice, listening, stillness, waiting

Michele on TV!

January 12, 2012 By Michele Woodward Leave a Comment

Listening is a hot topic!  Watch this short clip from NewsChannel 8 in Washington, DC, where I talk more about it:

 

Filed Under: Career Coaching, Happier Living Tagged With: Let's Talk Live, listening, NewsChannel 8, TV

Listen

January 8, 2012 By Michele Woodward Leave a Comment

 

I believe that listening well is the greatest honor you can pay another person.

When you listen, you tell another person that you value them. That you respect them. That they matter.

And if you are someone who needs to work with other people to get things done, then there is no better way to lead than to listen.

This is true in the workplace, and it’s true with toddlers.

I imagine you’ve heard of Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, haven’t you? Probably no surprise to you – I only really like two and a half of the habits.

The one I half-like is “Sharpen The Saw”, which in principle – to continually learn – I am totally on board with. “Sharpen” and “Saw” strike me as a little too chest-thumping lumberjacky macho macho.

That being said, another I really like is “Start With The End In Mind”, which is all about vision – vitally important.

But the best habit is: “Seek First to Understand, Then To Be Understood” which is a succinct endorsement of the power of listening.

Listen first, understand what the other person is saying, and then say what you need to say.

Sounds easy.  Can sometimes be hard.

Let’s make it easier with just a few tips:

  1. Turn off the phone
  2. Stop texting
  3. Do not check your email
  4. Move to another room if you can’t pretend the game is not on
  5. Let the other person have uninterrupted space to say what needs to be said
  6. Make eye contact
  7. Repeat or rephrase what you’ve heard – this is called “Active Listening”
  8. Ask if you’ve understood their point or argument
  9. Clarify as needed
  10. Now, say what you want to say -without judgment and ego

It’s that last bit that makes most of us grind our teeth. Having a staff person tell you what’s wrong with the roll-out may feel like a challenge to your expertise or planning skills or authority, but unless you’re Steve Jobs you might want to listen in case the kid has a point. Could save you some time and money. And maybe even guarantee the success you’re aiming for.

Plus, that kid could end up being the next Steve Jobs – wouldn’t it be cool to have been his mentor?

Even if the listening you’re doing is with your child who is telling you something you’d rather not hear – and, trust me, if you have a teenager this happens frequently – separating what is being said from your own ego is key to building a stronger relationship.

Which is the point, right?

In this fast-paced, go-go-go, multi-media, multi-input, multi-stimulus world, taking time out of time to really listen can shift a relationship from superficial to rich. And results from ho-hum to amazing.

Real, connected listening builds respect, which – in my opinion – we could use a lot more of in this world of ours.

So, ready?  It’s time to listen up.

 

 

Filed Under: Authenticity, Career Coaching, Getting Unstuck, Happier Living Tagged With: active listening, be a better listener, difficult people, listening, relationships, workplace issues

Footer

Subscribe

Recent Posts

  • It’s a Time Warp
  • Making a Plan – When Making a Plan Feels Really Hard
  • A Pandemic Is Not A Snowstorm
  • Nothing Slips Through The Cracks
  • Becoming UnBusy

Looking For Something?

Contact

Phone: 703/598-3100
Email: michele@michelewoodward.com
FB: /michele.woodward
LI: /in/michelewoodward
 

  • Download the 2020 Personal Planning Tool

Copyright © 2021 Michele Woodward Consulting · All Rights Reserved.