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joy

A Few Words On Joy

October 23, 2016 By Michele Woodward Leave a Comment

me-and-grace-stockholm-2016

 

Phew. I’m just back from a wonderful week in Stockholm visiting my dear daughter, Grace, who’s studying at the Stockholm School of Economics this semester.

It’s a long trip from Washington, DC to Stockholm – almost nine hours by air – so I loaded my Kindle with a couple of books and a Great Courses program on Herodotus (which seemed really appealing when I bought it…).

The book I devoured on the plane and while Grace was in class was the new book by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu – The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness In A Changing World.

If you haven’t read this one yet, put it on your list. You won’t regret it.

The idea is simple – put these two spiritual leaders in a room for a week and have them talk about joy. What is it? What gets between humans and joy? What can we do to get more joy in our lives? Writer Douglas Abrams asked the questions and compiled the answers into an engaging and provoking book. I highlighted so many wonderful passages I nearly wore out my index finger. Here are a couple that might resonate for you:

“‘We are meant to live in joy,’ the Archbishop explained. ‘This does not mean that life will be easy or painless. It means that we can turn our faces to the wind and accept that this is the storm we must pass through.'”

“As the Dalai Lama has described it, if we see a person who is being crushed by a rock, the goal is not to get under the rock and feel what they are feeling; it is to help to remove the rock.”

“The only thing that will bring happiness is affection and warmheartedness.”

“If you have genuine kindess or compassion, then when someone gets something or has more success you are able to rejoice in their good fortune.”

“Deep down we grow in kindness when our kindness is tested.”

“God uses each of us in our own way, and even if you are not the best one, you may be the one who is needed or the one who is there.”

And, “When we accept what is happening now, we can be curious about what might happen next.”

My trip to Stockholm was pure joy, my friends. Being with my daughter, seeing the city through her eyes, learning about a new culture – it was a delight of discovery and connection. And with the words of Archbishop Desmond Tutu and The Dalai Lama frontmost in my mind, I was open to the light of joyfulness that was right there for me.

Which is precisely what these two Nobel Peace Prize winners – and dear friends to each other – are teaching through their new book.

Joy is found by being present where you are. By coming to terms with how life is. By showing kindness and compassion. By being open to other perspectives, and to changing your own mind.

They say, “True joy is a way of being, not a fleeting emotion.” To which I say, “Yes. Wholeheartedly, unreservedly, yes.”

If you worry that your life has too little joy, read this book.

If you can’t figure out how to be more joyful, read this book.

If you fret that our world is becoming a joyless place, read this book.

If you want to change your way of being to become more joyful, read this book.

If you want to nourish your soul, well, you will find a soulfeast when you read this book.

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Blog, Clarity, Getting Unstuck, Happier Living Tagged With: Archbishop Desmond Tutu, compassion, connection, Dalai Lama, joy, kindness, living a life that matters, The Book of Joy

Let’s Talk About Joy

April 19, 2015 By Michele Woodward 3 Comments

 

 

Close Up Of Soap BubbleIn my line of work, I often meet people who feel like their job needs to be… well, work.

It’s supposed to be hard, a challenge, a trial, wearying.

It has to be a difficult challenge, a burden, a slog.

So, when I say to them, “Let’s find a way to base your career on joy”, they look at me as if I just got off the last train from OutThereville.

For these dear, harried souls, “joy” and “work” are never used in the same sentence. Never. Ever.

Of course, until they meet me.

Because I know that when you base your career in something that’s joyful, work doesn’t feel like work – it feels like a pleasure. Like an adventure. Like the most exhilarating learning you’ve ever experienced.

When you can find the joy in what you do, then stuff like toxic people, or unexpected roadblocks, or other setbacks become simply Things That Happen. When you’re operating from a true, deep love of what you’re doing, Things That Happen…happen. And so you deal with them and get back to doing what you love.

Sure, maybe wiser and more experienced, but still deeply joyful.

You want a real world example, don’t you?

So, recently, I had a colonoscopy. Immediately, you’re thinking “joy!”, aren’t you?

When I met with the doctor before the procedure, he told me that he had learned how to do colonoscopies when he was in the Army in Vietnam. I said, “Wow, you must have seen the technology change so much between then and now.”

He looked at me curiously, then said, “I sure have!” and went on to tell me, with a lot of enthusiasm, what’s changed. In that moment, I saw that my doctor loves his work. Loves it. Finds it fascinating. Appreciates the work he does. Feels joy.

And he does colonoscopies for a living.

Someone asked me yesterday how they could have a “bigger” career. How could they push past the barriers and boundaries they encounter and live large?

I replied with: “Start with joy.” Because with joy as your foundation, things come so easily. People find you a pleasure to be around and want to do business with you. Opportunities come. Doors open.

Life gets rich and full.

So, maybe it’s time for you to take a close look at your life. Where are you on joy? How can you get more if you don’t have enough?

How can you shift from the limiting idea that a life worth living is by definition a hard-fought battle, and move toward the bounteous idea that the best life is one founded on pure, unadulterated joy?

Because if you can, everything will break wide open for you.

 

Filed Under: Authenticity, Blog, Clarity, Getting Unstuck, Happier Living, Uncategorized, WiseWork Tagged With: enjoying life, finding joy, get bigger, happiness, how to be more successful, joy, success

How About Joy?

July 28, 2013 By Michele Woodward 1 Comment

 

bigstock-Close-up-of-champagne-explosio-38563480One thing you have to know about me: I am all for joy.

I was once told that joy is the province of the privileged because anyone who has to bust a hump on a job every day has no time for something as frivolous as joy.

Pffft.  I humbly disagree.

Joy is for all. Everybody. Anybody.

Because joy is the ultimate antidote for stress, unhappiness, uncertainty, anxious striving and/or the grumps.

And it helps to have a little list you can consult if ever you get so grumpy that you can’t remember what makes you happy.

My Joy List:

Sunlight filtered through leaves.

Deep conversations with people you’ve never met and will never see again.

How light bends to illuminate unseen corners.

Dancing in the kitchen.

Growing a plant from a seed.

One-hit wonders to which I know all the lyrics.

Friendship.

Fitting into those shorts from four summers ago.

The smell of honeysuckle.

Witnessing someone who is passionate about what they’re doing.

Giving a dog a belly rub.

The smell of cut grass.

Fresh food, well-prepared.

A well hit 3-wood.

Laughing until I snort.

A bargain.

Learning something about anything.

The moment of discovery in the eyes of another.

See, joy is unexpected.

And, joy is also planned. So make your own list, and refer to it often.

Because you need joy. In fact, it’s absolutely vital to your well-being.

And the more you do it, the better you feel.

So, tell me – what’s on your Joy List?

 

Filed Under: Authenticity, Blog, Clarity, Getting Unstuck, Happier Living, Uncategorized Tagged With: enjoyment, joy, simple pleasures, stress, stress management

Do What You Love and The Money Won’t Follow

June 2, 2013 By Michele Woodward 5 Comments

money

 

Perhaps it is that we humans are a hopeful breed. We desperately want things to be a certain way so we create handy sayings to reinforce that anything’s possible, the sky is the limit, and winners never quit and quitters never win.

In practice, however, we know that winners sometimes quit rather remarkably (Lou Gehrig, for one), and that there are planets and galaxies beyond our Earthly sky, and that it is currently impossible to get from Tokyo to New York in five minutes.

We humans seem to love telling ourselves stuff that we know isn’t true, but sure seems familiar because we’ve heard it said so much.

Like the familiar and conflicting phrase, “Do what you love and the money will follow.”

An entire self-help industry has risen around this hopeful, jaunty little untrue phrase and there are armies of gurus who will attack me for challenging the premise.

But that’s not going to stop me.

Let’s split our homey sentence into two parts, shall we? The first: “Do what you love” is absolutely and resolutely correct. When you do what you love, your days rarely feel like work. They feel full, and fulfilling. They feel purposeful and meaningful. Sure, there might be a challenge or two – but they’re fun challenges. They’re knots you actually enjoy untying, and the satisfaction that comes from a challenge well met and solved is like no other.

So, yes, by all means do what you love. Yes, yes, yes and yes.

Now to the whole “money will follow” part. 

Let’s imagine for a minute that what you love is… teaching small children how to read. The sense of accomplishment that a five year-old has in mastering the Bob books – of being able to read “Mat sat” and know that Mat actually sat! And then Sam sat! Can you believe it? It’s amazing!

Have you seen the spark in a young child’s eyes just as they understand letters make sounds and sounds make words and words make stories and maybe they can tell stories and suddenly the world flies open for them? It’s a precious and powerful moment of learning.

And it takes talented and gifted teachers to make that learning possible. Teachers who love what they do.

Now, tell me:

How many Pre-kindergarten teachers do you know who make a million dollars from teaching? That’s a lot of money, you say? OK, then, how many Pre-K teachers make six figures? How many of these hard-working, job-loving teachers even make fifty grand?

So, you see, Pre-K teachers do what they absolutely love and yet the money doesn’t follow.

Happiness, however, absolutely does follow.

And that is my entire point. We need to revise our dear old saw to something more accurate, and that revision is:

Do what you love, and the happiness will follow.

And if you are happy enough, believe me, you figure out the money part. You either happily live within your means on the money you make doing the work you love, or you pick up a side hustle which allows you to meet your financial needs.

Sometimes, even, we turn the entire equation on its ear and work a regular job to make the money we need to allow us to do what it is we love. We work as an internist in a medical practice so we can take two months a year to serve Doctors Without Borders.

We do computer coding at night to write a book in the daytime.

Cut back the office job to three days a week to launch a non-profit in the community.

It’s all possible. It’s doable.

As a matter of fact, it’s all being done right this very minute.

People all over the world are right this very minute doing exactly what they love. And complete, utter, joyful happiness follows.

Imagine that.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Blog, Career Coaching, Clarity, Happier Living, Uncategorized, WiseWork Tagged With: career strategy, do what you love and the money will follow, happiness, joy, meaningful work, starting a business

Whoa.

July 24, 2011 By Michele Woodward Leave a Comment

Whoa.

This week I said, “Whoa” more than once. And, curiously, each time the word took on a different meaning.

“Whoa”, rather short and sharp, when I learned something new. Kinda stopped me in my tracks as the dots connected themselves and suddenly I had a new understanding of a thing previously less understood.

You know that kind of whoa.

I also said an exclamatory, “Whoa!” when a guy cut me off in traffic. Whoa, as in, “Sheesh, what are you thinking? Doofus.” OK, I might have used a different epithet. I will leave my precise word choice to your imagination.

“Whoa,” was on my lips when my 15 year old daughter came down the stairs in a new outfit, hair done, ready to go to a party. That was a rather long, drawn-out whooooooa, expressing “OMG, how beautiful you are!” combined with a measure of “wasn’t she just four years old a minute ago?”

I said a brief and surprised “whoa” under my breath a conference this week when I realized the caliber of the influential women in the room – women who are committed to helping other women succeed.

I’m telling you – it was a Whoa Week, people.

Which is a really great thing because I’ve found:

Whoa leads to wonder.

Wonder.  Yes, even with the doofus who cut me off in traffic.  Really.  In that moment, it was wonderful to be alive, unharmed, and able to ease on down the road.

The is the Way of Whoa.

Doesn’t that just make you want to say… whoa?

I know what you’re feeling.  So let me ask you this: Do you say “whoa” enough?  Feel that “whoa” feeling frequently?

You know what I’m talking about – that moment of discovery.  The complete awareness of your own edges and boundaries.  The epiphany of spying something beautiful.  That delicious moment of realization that something truly wonderful is happening.

Whether you’re at work, or at home or somewhere in-between, my friends, say whoa and lift yourself out of the hurry, bustle and go-go-go of everyday life.

Walk the Way of Whoa.

Enjoy.

Discover.

Wonder.

Today has got to be your day to say whoa.

 

[photo credit: Michele Woodward]

Filed Under: Authenticity, Getting Unstuck, Happier Living Tagged With: happiness, joy, The Way of Whoa, whoa, wonder

Summer Dreaming

July 17, 2011 By Michele Woodward Leave a Comment

 

I don’t know about you, but I want to:

Read an entire book in one day.

Eat popsicles after each meal.

Take two naps daily.

Ride a bike with a monkey bar, and streamers on the handles.

Use Sun-In.

Watch ants parade.

Teach toddlers about bubbles.

Listen to the afternoon rain fall on the roof.

Putter.

Laugh with old friends.

Make new friends.

Feel the sun on my shoulders.

Enjoy this summer.

Because all work and no play makes me a very dull girl.

Because play excites my soul.

Because I’m better when I’m relaxed and anti-frantic.

[Bet you are, too.]

So what are your summer dreams?

Wanna have a popsicle and think it over?

Why not go ahead and have two and get started?

[photo credit: Michele Woodward]

Filed Under: Getting Unstuck, Happier Living, Random Thoughts Tagged With: enjoyment, joy, play, relaxation, summer

Go Ask Alice

October 31, 2010 By Michele Woodward 3 Comments

Alice Sommer Herz

From time to time, it’s important to ask yourself why you do what it is you do. Why go to the office? Why practice medicine? Or law? Why teach? Why sell? Why provide that service you provide? Why construct an ad campaign or marketing strategy for your clients?

Do you know why you do it?

And how to explain what it is you do? [At one point of my corporate career, my child described my work as: “Mommy talks on the phone and has lunch with people.” Hey, it’s nice work if you can get it.]

I’ve been thinking about “Why” a lot recently as I revamp my website and create a business plan for the coming year. What is it I’m really trying to do with this coaching work of mine?

Then, on Saturday, I saw an amazing, astounding, powerful, touching, inspiring video on YouTube. It’s about Alice Sommer Herz who will turn 107 years old in November, 2010.  That’s amazing, isn’t it?

She’s also a musician – quite a good one, having performed as a concert pianist throughout her life.  At 106, she’s still playing everyday.  Astounding, right?

She’s also the oldest Holocaust survivor in the world.

Watch the video now.  I’ll be right here, waiting for you.

That was something, wasn’t it?

Her hope, her optimism, her sense of humor. Inspiring.

“Every day, life is beautiful,” says Alice. Even the day she was arrested. Even when she was in the camp. Even in the most challenging of times.

She not only survived – she thrived.

And for the six-plus decades since the camp, she’s lived. Fully. Well. Present in this moment. She greets each day as a delightful gift, “aware of the beauty of life.”

About the fourth time I watched this film, I realized why I do what I do. My work as a coach is designed to help you become like Alice.

Happy. Joyful. Clear. Present.

Even at work.

Even when you’re challenged.

Even when it things are so bad it seems like the world has stopped spinning.

I want to teach you how to recognize when you are at your best – your equivalent of Chopin’s Etudes – and help you center your life there.  And focus on doing that best thing every single day.

Because when you do, you can happily weather any storm. And live a life well-lived. Just like Alice.

Filed Under: Authenticity, Clarity, Happier Living Tagged With: Alice Sommer Herz, best self, Career Coaching, doing what you love, happiness, joy

Life In The Balance

October 4, 2009 By Michele Woodward Leave a Comment

“Suffering is normal.”

“Work is supposed to be hard.”

“I have to keep busy.”

“No pain, no gain.”

“Idle hands are the Devil’s playground.”

“Life is not supposed to be easy.”

Damn that Protestant Work Ethic.

It’s those deeply ingrained PWE messages that hold us back from making changes leading to more satisfaction, happiness and meaning. We’re all so nose-to-the-grindstone, unhappy-as-hell, but-hey-what-can-I-do-about-it people.

What frustrated folks may not know is this: the key to a balanced life is a fair measure of joy. Of purposeless fun. Of play.

Which is diametrically opposed the good old PWE.

Know what I mean? We take something that is supposed to be joyful fun, like, oh… running through a forest, feeling the wind on your skin and your hair, smelling the fragrance of the deep woods, spying a shy fawn, or a curious fox. And we turn it into, “Gotta go nine today so I’ll be ready for the marathon.”

Sure, having a purpose gives us something to strive for, but often bypasses the underlying joy of simply doing a thing we love.

A woman I know was lamenting this week that her just conferred Master’s degree didn’t seem to be that valuable in this job market. I asked, “Why did you decide on that field of study?” She answered, “Because I was really interested in it, and I thought it would be fun.” I paused a moment. “So you enjoyed the learning?” She said, “Oh, yes!” I asked, “Isn’t that enough?”

Learning for learning’s sake — ever known that feeling?

To achieve balance in your life, sometimes you need to allow yourself to do something for the sheer fun of it — and not because it will lead to something else. Something “productive.” If you have the time, the money and the interest, why not take a class? Or get a Master’s degree? Or a PhD, for that matter? With no eye toward where it will “get” you?

Why not enjoy yourself?

There’s a point that comes in everyone’s life — and for some of us it comes more than once — when you know things have to change. Yet you ignore the stirrings of your heart, the urgings of your soul, because making a change might seem indulgent.

Which is a definite PWE no-no.

There’s the doctor who would really like to open a bead shop, but how would that look? All those years of medical school — a waste?

Or the lawyer who would like to be a non-profit case worker. Law school down the drain?

Or the one-time-CPA mom who would like to go back to work, but do something that doesn’t involve numbers. At all. Ever. Shouldn’t she just keep up her certification, just in case?

Not necessarily.

We are all the sum total of our life’s experiences. I know that nothing I’ve ever done in my life — the good, the bad, the extremely ugly — was a waste. It’s all added up to make me the person I am today, and that feels pretty daggone good.

When you get the chance to reinvent your life, you get the chance to use everything you’ve got. When you get the chance to increase your joy, and, nifty by-product, achieve that elusive life balance, take it. Regardless of the little messages that tell you that following your heart is indulgent or purposeless.

If you are stuck, or itchy, or worried, or out of balance — forget the PWE. Focus on joy. And the rest will follow.

Filed Under: Career Coaching, Happier Living, Managing Change Tagged With: careers, change, happiness, joy, life coach, reinvention

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