Michele Woodward

Powerful Coaching. Powerful Results.

How to make priorities

When Everything’s A Priority

By 1 Comment

 

Flipper

In the go-go-go world in which we live, sometimes it feels impossible to prioritize – there’s always so much going on, and so much to do, and so much we should be doing. We careen along our lives as if we’re in one giant pinball machine, banging into buzzers, whizzing by bumpers and – sometimes – losing ourselves deep black holes, with the only option… to start all over again. Pull that spring back as far as it’ll go and – wham! – you’re launched right the chaos of blinking lights and dinging bells.

Bing. Bing bing. Bing bing bing. Bing. Thwack. Bing. Bing. Bing.

Knowing your priorities can make this a whole lot easier.

Oh, I know that there are some who say, “Priorities, schmi-orities. No one’s gonna tell me what to do, and where to go! No way, man!” (or, “dude”, depending on age group).

Yes, for some people priorities feel limiting and inflexible. But for all of their no-way-man resistance, they still have priorities which they serve.

How do I know?

Simple. I watch what they do.

Because you can only see what someone truly prioritizes by watching what they do. Actions always reveal true intentions.

There are a couple of ways to identify your priorities.  First, you can use my Personal Planning Tool worksheet, which ultimately drives you to identify those things, in rank order, that are most important today. Download the PDF.

You can also sit down with a piece of paper and a pencil and do this exercise. Pick a day last week – a typical day when you had stuff to do.  Ask yourself:

When did I wake up? How did I feel?

When did I get out of bed? How did I feel?

What did I do first? How did I feel about that?

What did I do next? How did I feel about it?

[note: be more specific than saying “I went to work”; say, “I drove to the parking lot, parked, went to my office, read email, went to the meeting with Jim, phone calls with Tom, Dick and Harry. Lunch at desk while checking email,” etc. and continue to note how you felt at each of these times.]

Keep asking “What did I do next/how did it feel?” until you get to when you got into bed and when you fell asleep.

Now, go back and look at this typical day. Anything pop out at you?

What did you make time for, without fail?

Where did you always say yes?

Where did you feel great? Where did it feel awful?

It’s a hunch, but I’ll bet that the people, places and things you said yes to, made time for and felt great about are your true priorities.

And the other stuff may be other people’s priorities, or what society tells you “should” be priorities, but which really hold no oomph for you.

So, looking at your time, it might be revealed that your true priority is your daily five mile run.

Or the office fantasy football league discussions. Which allow you to feel the deep satisfaction of belonging.

Or taking your kids to school and picking them up. Allowing the space to be fully engaged in their lives.

Or your health. Or someone else’s health. Permitting the grace of caregiving, or the power of self-care.

Or your own learning and growth. Gaining mastery of knowledge and understanding.

Whatever it is, it’s yours. And by honing in on your priorities, you come into awareness of your own ability to achieve, and to accomplish, and to be at your best more of the time.

So you might say one thing is a priority – often it’s around work, or your marriage, or your kids – but when you take an honest look at how you really spend your time, something else might show up.

Whatever that is? That’s your real priority. It’s not necessarily your spoken priority, mind you. But it is what you’re serving.

Address this misalignment between what we say and what we do and – just like getting bonus time – we’re on the road to getting happier, more effective and wiser.

So instead of saying, “My work is my priority”, honor that maybe your real priority is the things your work allows you to do – to connect with others, to learn, to grow, to have the space and time to run five miles a day, or pick your kids up from school.

It’s your choice. All of it – your choice.

You can be the ball.

Or you can be the Pinball Wizard, working the flipper to serve your most vital priority.

 

 

Busy But Not Productive

By Leave a Comment



One thing that absolutely drives me nutty is busyness. Busy, busy, busy – say it fast enough and you buzz like a bee. Which is, apparently, quite a good thing, as we often say, “Busy as a bee.”

And maybe we get a buzz from all that busyness. When we’re busy, we belong to the collective hive of others who are busy, too. Buzz, buzz, buzz, we’re all in motion together.

Let me ask you this: are you busy for the sake of being busy, or are you actually doing something?

What do you have to show for all of your flitting around?

Anything?

At all?

First bees and now athletes – I’m going metaphor-crazy. But hang with me, will you?

I’ve been watching the Olympics this week and have been struck by the efficiency of the athletes. I have watched skiers, eyes closed, visualizing the run they are about to take. Virtually practicing, they move their bodies as if they are edging through the gates at ninety miles an hour.

And I’ve watched figure skaters who put their hand here, their hip there, their toe spike down precisely at this point in a jump. That’s the only way they can land the quadruple toe loop.

But probably the most efficient athletes I’ve watched have been the ski jumpers. They launch, they move right into position, they fly.

All of these athletes practice, practice, practice until their discrete moves become muscle memory and more than second nature.

Know what else they have? They have a goal in mind – to win, sure. But also to be better than the last time they skated, skied or jumped. To have a better score, or to shave off two tenths of a second.  That’s a win.

So for you to turn your busyness into productivity, you, too, must have a goal in mind and move efficiently toward it.

Which also means you have to have priorities. Because you can have four million goals to reach, but if none are sorted by importance you’ll spend ten seconds on each and accomplish nothing.

Which is not the way Olympic athletes train.  They spend hours on one arm position.  On where their knees should be on landing.  On positioning their poles.

Take a piece of paper and write down all the things you do in a day. [Competitive? Then write down everything you do in a week.] Group them into broad categories, like Work, Kids, Spouse, Home, Bill Paying, Mom, Exercise, Professional Whittling (hey, it’s OK to have a hobby). Then look at your categories. Does work support your kids, or do kids support your work? Compare each category this way and you will ultimately have a sorted list of your priorities.

Voila.

There’s another step.

Look at your list of priorities.  Which lights you up and brings joy to your life?  If that thing or things are low down on your list, then perhaps the reason you’re not productive is the conflict between what your heart wants and what your mind wants.  Spend some time sorting out this piece and you’ll find that perhaps you can care less about your work identity – which will free up time and space to serve your parenting priority. Or your inner whittler.

Once you have your priorities in alignment, see which you need to attend to now, which can wait, and which can be dropped. If you are still tying your sixteen year old’s sneakers, trust me, you can let that go. Obsessively worrying about next Christmas can wait. Fixing the hole in the roof? That’s a now thing.

There is no point in being busy for the sake of being busy. It’s all wasted movement that generates nothing.

“Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.”  (The Tragedy of Macbeth, Act 5, Scene 5, by William Shakespeare)

Signify something. Drop the busyness in favor of efficient productivity. And the only buzz in your life will come from seeing all that you’ve accomplished.