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enjoyment

The Perils of Being Good

April 4, 2016 By Michele Woodward Leave a Comment

 

Let’s say that ever since you were a little, teeny kid you have played by the rules.

You do what’s expected. Maybe even more than expected.

You’re deferential, polite and wait your turn.

You’re a such good girl. You’re a such good boy.

You go to work every day, even when you’re sick, and you miss things like birthdays, anniversaries and tournaments.

They’re paying you so you owe them, you tell yourself.

Your hard work will be noticed someday, you tell yourself.

Because you’re such a good girl – you’re such a good boy – you play by the rules.

Maybe you don’t work – you’re a full-time parent. But still, you’re hyper-competent and you way over-deliver.

Since you’re not working and bringing in any money, you tell yourself.

Everything has to be just so because you’re not working, you tell yourself.

Because you are not just a good boy or a good girl – you have to be perfect.

And the rules are the rules. My goodness, you’d hate to disappoint.

Or show that, perhaps, you’re not really that good (your biggest, most secret fear).

You’ve been living this way for so long that you don’t know who you are outside the rules. You don’t know how to un-conform.

Feels scary to even think about doing things differently.

No one you’ve ever known has colored outside the lines and succeeded.

Well, maybe that one person. Or two.

Or now that you think about it, that friend who left and started his own thing? He seems so happy.

And that woman – the one who went back to work after ten years at home? She’s glowing, right?

Huh.

Maybe there’s an opening. Maybe there’s a possibility. Maybe the old rules are just that – old.

And there’s a new way to be.

One that’s authentic.

Open. Honest. Fun. Interesting. Productive.

Rewarding.

The only thing? You can’t remain a very good girl or a very good boy and get there.

Because good boys and good girls are docile and controllable. That’s why the rules were made in the first place.

What you need to be is: A real person.

Who gets sick sometimes and needs time off and has a family and has dreams and desires and a life of their own.

A real person who won’t put compliance with some arbitrary rules made up to keep people in line over having a life that matters.

Who values living fully over being patted on the head for performing.

A person who knows the rules but sometimes – just sometimes – breaks ’em…because that’s the only way they can fully live.

 

Filed Under: Authenticity, Blog, Career Coaching, Clarity, Getting Unstuck, Happier Living Tagged With: breaking the rules, connection, enjoyment, Finding a new job, finding meaning, good boy, good girl, happiness, overwhelm

How About Joy?

July 28, 2013 By Michele Woodward 1 Comment

 

bigstock-Close-up-of-champagne-explosio-38563480One thing you have to know about me: I am all for joy.

I was once told that joy is the province of the privileged because anyone who has to bust a hump on a job every day has no time for something as frivolous as joy.

Pffft.  I humbly disagree.

Joy is for all. Everybody. Anybody.

Because joy is the ultimate antidote for stress, unhappiness, uncertainty, anxious striving and/or the grumps.

And it helps to have a little list you can consult if ever you get so grumpy that you can’t remember what makes you happy.

My Joy List:

Sunlight filtered through leaves.

Deep conversations with people you’ve never met and will never see again.

How light bends to illuminate unseen corners.

Dancing in the kitchen.

Growing a plant from a seed.

One-hit wonders to which I know all the lyrics.

Friendship.

Fitting into those shorts from four summers ago.

The smell of honeysuckle.

Witnessing someone who is passionate about what they’re doing.

Giving a dog a belly rub.

The smell of cut grass.

Fresh food, well-prepared.

A well hit 3-wood.

Laughing until I snort.

A bargain.

Learning something about anything.

The moment of discovery in the eyes of another.

See, joy is unexpected.

And, joy is also planned. So make your own list, and refer to it often.

Because you need joy. In fact, it’s absolutely vital to your well-being.

And the more you do it, the better you feel.

So, tell me – what’s on your Joy List?

 

Filed Under: Authenticity, Blog, Clarity, Getting Unstuck, Happier Living, Uncategorized Tagged With: enjoyment, joy, simple pleasures, stress, stress management

Summer Dreaming

July 17, 2011 By Michele Woodward Leave a Comment

 

I don’t know about you, but I want to:

Read an entire book in one day.

Eat popsicles after each meal.

Take two naps daily.

Ride a bike with a monkey bar, and streamers on the handles.

Use Sun-In.

Watch ants parade.

Teach toddlers about bubbles.

Listen to the afternoon rain fall on the roof.

Putter.

Laugh with old friends.

Make new friends.

Feel the sun on my shoulders.

Enjoy this summer.

Because all work and no play makes me a very dull girl.

Because play excites my soul.

Because I’m better when I’m relaxed and anti-frantic.

[Bet you are, too.]

So what are your summer dreams?

Wanna have a popsicle and think it over?

Why not go ahead and have two and get started?

[photo credit: Michele Woodward]

Filed Under: Getting Unstuck, Happier Living, Random Thoughts Tagged With: enjoyment, joy, play, relaxation, summer

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