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difference between men and women

Men, Pizza and Opportunity

October 18, 2015 By Michele Woodward 1 Comment

 

PizzaLet’s say you’re sitting there in front of a lovely, hot, cheesy, delicious pizza.

It’s gorgeous. And you’re the only person in the room. It’s all yours!

Wait, what’s that? Someone you don’t know comes to the table and stands there. In your head, warning bells are going off – are you going to have to share? If you give that person a slice of pizza, how much will be left for you?

For the sake of argument, let’s say your office rules mandate that you have to give a slice of pizza to anyone who asks. So you grudgingly give a slice to the newcomer and sulk a little bit now that you’re left with one less piece of that gorgeous pie.

Your pal George comes in and of course you give George a slice – ha, ha! you have to! it’s the office rule! – and he takes the seat next to you.

You and George eat two slices each. It’s a great day.

But, the pie has gotten pretty small. It’s more than halfway gone, in fact.

You start to panic, and think about hiding the pizza. It’s against the rules to hide it, but it’s a really great pizza and you’ll no doubt be hungry some day – who knows if there’s ever going to be any pizza in your future? You and George begin to talk about ways you might lock the door, off-shore the pizza, or use metrics and analytics to make the pizza impossible for anyone else to understand, and, therefore, beyond the reach of their grubby little hands.

Just then, the person you gave the first slice to comes back into the room.

You tense up. Who is this woman!? She can’t possibly want more pizza!!

Wait, what’s that she’s carrying? It smells fantastic. Why, it’s a NEW pizza, one she made after having tasted yours!

Yes, having tasted that great, cheesy slice of pizza – she’d never been invited into that room before – she began to think, “What if we could make a pizza with sausage, mushroom and onions? I wonder what that would be like?”

Her pizza looks amazing. You have a slice of hers, and so does George.

Heads nod in agreement – this is one swell pizza. It was so smart of you to give her that first slice!

Through the door come three other people who had met the woman earlier. She taught them how to make pizzas, too, and this new group have invented a pizza with ham and pineapple, and another with chickpeas for gluten-free people, and one with – get ready for it – melty cheese in the crust!

You are astounded, and have one slice of each. Now, you’ve eaten two slices of your original pizza, and one of each of the new pizzas. Beyond your obvious bloat and need for a Tums, what are you left with?

A very satisfying experience. See, by giving up one slice at the beginning, you’ve received back four slices. Plus, you still have three slices of the original pie.

You have a pizza surplus.

And this is precisely how we’re going to get more women and people of color in leadership roles in organizations around the world.

Hang with me for a minute. Since 85% of US executive officers are men, it’s the guys already in the room who can make the biggest difference. They are the ones who can make sure everyone gets a slice of the pie on the table – by being aware of what happens in terms of growth and innovation when everyone is included and exposed to opportunities.

It’s totally counter-intuitive: Giving an opportunity takes nothing away from your own experience – rather, being generous actually creates multi-fold and plentiful rewards.

Remember the pizza surplus.

So, does it matter if there are more women in the C-suite? More people of color? More inclusion? Isn’t what I’m talking about just a grabby redistribution of power?

To my mind, it’s not about a power grab. It’s about this: Today’s fast-paced, highly changing world requires all-hands-on-deck solutions. All hands. Male hands, female hands, people of all hues, beliefs, backgrounds and experiences.

We’re all a part of the solution.

Which, come to think of it, simply means more a lot more pizza for everyone.

 

(thanks to the Washington Post’s Max Ehrenfreud for the pizza analogy in his piece here.)

Filed Under: Blog, Career Coaching, Happier Living, Managing Change, Uncategorized Tagged With: difference between men and women, getting promoted, leadership, men, mentoring, women leadership

Happy Dude’s Day

June 19, 2011 By Michele Woodward Leave a Comment

I love men.

I love teenage guys with their fierce self assertion. I like 20-something guys whose eyes shine bright with discovery. Men in their 30s, with a baby in a sling on their chest – dig ’em. Forty year old guys who coach Little League with that perfect recipe of toughness and pats on the fanny – nice! I absolutely adore men in their 50s, with their deep understanding of the world and how they fit into it. Men in their 60s, 70s, 80s – the frisky devils! I can’t wait to sit next to them at a dinner party.

I do love men.

Thanks to my son, my brothers, my dad, my guy friends, I really understand men, and appreciate how different they are. Because they really are. Men just think differently.

Sure there is research that shows that male brains are wired one way and female brains are wired another. And there is research which shows that there is no difference at all.

But from just living, I can tell you – there’s a difference.

And I’m glad there is.

Cuz, as stated before, I get a kick out of men.

Back in 2009, I gave you What Do Men Want?, and in that piece I wrote:

I believe strongly that what men want most from women is safety and deep acceptance. For much of his life, a man may have been told that he’s too smelly, or too dirty, or thinks about sex too much. He’s also told he needs to be in touch with his feelings, talk it out, feed the baby — while he’s being told to be strong, a lone wolf, and eat what he kills.

A man often gets the message that whatever he does, he’s gonna be wrong. Some how, some way, he’s wrong.

But when women provide a safe place for a man to be all the things he is, right and wrong, smelly and sexy, and give him deep acceptance of his quest, then men can fully relax, be authentic, be themselves… and be happy.

I believe that just as strongly today.

Men need space to be men – whatever that looks like for them.

Father’s Day, for both men and women, is a day to be thankful for the men in our lives. And to honor them fully, we must allow them to be who they are – fully.

Utter acceptance. What a gift.

So, let’s make today about totally digging guys, in all their dude-y dude-ness. You in?

Filed Under: Authenticity, Clarity, Happier Living Tagged With: difference between men and women, father's day, happiness, men

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