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bad bosses

Winning At Full Contact Office Politics

February 18, 2014 By Michele Woodward 1 Comment

 

 

Carol came to that coaching session with an agenda. See, she was smack dab in the middle of a hairy situation at work – full contact office politics played at the master level by professionalsseasoned at the game. And Carol (you know that’s not her real name, right?) found herself caught up in it. Big time.bigstock-Many-yellow-sticky-notes-with--23860859

It seemed that a silent war was being waged and while Carol was aware of the tensions, she wasn’t really sure who was on which side. All she knew was that her old SVP had left and a new SVP had come in and somehow Carol’s VP life had gotten a whole lot harder.

She was getting “feedback” which felt more like threats. She was excluded from meetings she had previously led. There were new restrictions on her travel. She felt like people were just waiting for her to screw up today so she could be beat up on even more thoroughly tomorrow.

In fact, she was at the point where getting fired might be a mercy – but the SVP didn’t appeart to be the merciful sort. More the type who enjoys pulling the wings off ladybugs, Carol said.

So Carol came to her coaching session armed with some specific tactics she could use to defend herself, and a couple that could also do a little damage. “Balance things out a bit,” she said, with a bright gleam in her eye.

It’s hard to be where Carol is – suddenly the ground shifts below your feet and you don’t know what the rules are any more. What worked in the past no longer works. All relationships are up in the air. You begin to doubt yourself, and wonder what the hell is wrong with you/with them/with the cosmos.

You start a downward spiral, punctuated with bouts of real anger. But mostly, your self-esteem takes a hit.

You feel powerless.

Lower than low.

Like you’re nothing.

At all.

I took a deep breath, let it out, and said to Carol, “So, who do you want to be through this?”

No doubt this felt like a total non sequitur to Carol. She thought the two of us would be doing battle strategy so she could win the war.

Instead, I called her to another mission – the mission of being true to herself.

I repeated, “Who do you want to be? How can you conduct yourself so that, a year from now, you can be proud of the way you acted in the face of this challenge?”

Because ultimately, that’s really all that matters.

Jobs come, and jobs go. People come, and people go. Days, months, years – they all come and go.

You, however, get to live with yourself every moment of your life. So, “how do I want to be?” turns out to be one of the most important questions you can ask.

Especially when things get hard, and when people are attempting to get you to be something they’d like you to be. But you know that to be that way would suck the very soul from your body.

“As I remember, you told me that your integrity was one of your key values,” I said to Carol. “Is that right?”

She nodded, thinking.

“So,” I went on, “what does your integrity tell you to do right now, in this situation?”

Carol smiled. Shook her head. Said, “That’s absolutely right. My integrity is the thing every single person I’ve ever worked with has said is best about me. This SVP is basically challenging my integrity – pushing me to be something that I’m not – that’s really the problem.”

“Right,” I said. “And you have the power to decide if you’re going to let that happen. Are you going to?”

“Not on your life,” Carol said, with resolve. “Integrity always wins. I am going to be a person of integrity and let the chips fall where they may. And a year from now, I can be proud of staying true to myself.”

Yep, she surely will. And, I’ll bet you that when Carol disengages with the war and re-engages with her own knowledge of who she is at her best, then that cranky SVP will simply move on to another target. And, ultimately, will probably leave the organization with a wide trail of destruction in her wake.

And who will be ready, willing and able to step into the breach, with her integrity and reputation intact and whole?

You know what? I call that person “Carol”.

Filed Under: Authenticity, Blog, Career Coaching, Getting Unstuck, Uncategorized, WiseWork Tagged With: bad bosses, integrity, my boss is a jerk, office politics, performance reviews, workplace issues

OK, So Your Job Sucks

February 9, 2014 By Michele Woodward Leave a Comment

 

You never really know how much dirt you’re living with until you get a new vacuum cleaner. Am I right?

Dog and vacuum cleaner

There you were, pushing that old machine all over your house, feeling rather smug that you were very neat and tidy. But then the old Hoover conks out and you replace it with a modern, technologically advanced vacuum and are astounded at how fast the bag fills up as you go over what you previously thought was a very clean house.

Of course, this is both something that happened to me and an apt metaphor. Isn’t that always the way?

So here’s what I see from my perch over here as your executive coach:

I see a bunch of you sticking it out in difficult, toxic, almost unbearable jobs. Sure, you can convince yourself that all is well, and that it’s not possible for anything to change.

But you’d be wrong. And, I’ll further bet that when you get the equivalent of a new vacuum, you’ll see just how dirty the whole thing really is.

Now, I’m not suggesting a mass resignation on the part of all of my readers.

While it would be fun to watch – sorta like a flash mob! – it’s not very realistic.

Over the years, I’ve helped people find a new way to manage difficult situations at work, and – let me tell you – it can be very rewarding to turn around a tough one. To go from feeling dread at the ding of the elevator on your floor to actually kind of liking it – amazing.

Oh, you doubt it can happen? Don’t doubt, sugar – I’ve seen it. Plenty of times, in fact.

So, shall we get to the how? How do you turn it around?

First, let me say one thing. There are just three factors which you need to consider when evaluating  how much your job sucks: people, learning and money. If one or more of these things are good, or even great, you’ll probably be able to find some happiness in your job. If all three suck, the job likely sucks.

So, to turn around a sucky situation, take a look at these three factors and see if you can shift any one of them. Could you take on a project so you can boost your learning in your role? Or take on a new attitude and attack old tasks with a new, learner’s fervor?

Could you find new people to associate with? Transfer to a different department? Conversely, if the only reason you’re staying is because of the people, but the money is bad and there is no learning – take a deep thought and ask yourself, “If, in five years, everything has stayed the same, how will that feel?” Act accordingly. 

And money. Always the old bugaboo – money. If you are underpaid for your role, there is but one thing you can do – ask for more. Now, people will say, “in this economy, blah blah blah”. But when your organization posts record profits, or gets a huge new foundation grant, it’s really hard for the brass to say with a straight face, “We’re broke.” Time your raise request to coincide with good news and make sure you have three strong examples of how your work impacted that healthy bottom line. Without some tangible achievements to back up saying “I deserve a raise”, your request is likely to be met with a profound “so what”.

Especially if your boss is a jerk. [see “people” above]

Now, my friend, let me say this: if you are in the truly icky situation of working with unpleasant people in a tedious and soul-sucking role you have down pat and fully memorized, and you’re also working for peanuts – then it is time to look for something new. Oh, yeah, you’ll tell yourself “in this economy, blah, blah, blah” but that’s like telling yourself your vacuum works perfectly well. When you know it doesn’t.

Because… dust bunnies.

Sometimes, when it comes down to it, the best possible thing you can do for yourself is to get a clean, fresh start. A new machine. With great power. And ergonomic controls that feel designed just for you. Oh, and it comes complete with a brand, spanking new HEPA filter.

Use that crevice tool, folks. It’s time for a thorough, clean sweep.

 

 

Filed Under: Authenticity, Blog, Career Coaching, Clarity, Getting Unstuck, Uncategorized, WiseWork Tagged With: bad bosses, bad jobs, boss is a jerk, job search, new job, when to quit, when your job sucks

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