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achievement

Working Hard Is Pointless

February 9, 2015 By Michele Woodward 2 Comments

Construction Worker Silhouette At Work

 

I know you. You throw yourself into everything you do, all the time.

There is no halfway for you –  it’s all the way, and once you’re there, maybe you do just a little bit more.

There is no “all-or-nothing”, there’s just full tilt, up-past-your-eyeballs “all-in”.

You, my friend, are a machine.

You’re the first one there and the last one to leave.

You work hard and give 110% to everything you do.

You certainly don’t believe in shortcuts.

(Is this starting to resonate yet?)

There are people around you who love that you work so hard and so much, especially those who do a whole lot less because you’re doing it all.

Those folks, in fact, rather adore you.

You work, and work, and work, and accomplish, and accomplish, and accomplish, and – tell the truth – you sort of look down on people who aren’t as fully committed as you are. And you pretty much define yourself by how much time you put in.

It’s resonating now, huh?

And I’m not going to tell you to stop working so hard, or so much. I’m not going to tell you to change one thing about yourself.

I’m just going to raise one little idea – something I’ve learned from the many people I’ve coached over the years who’ve come to the point where a light bulb goes off over their heads.

I’ve even had this same light bulb go off over my own noggin.

It’s this: Today, you can work somewhere for ten, fifteen, twenty years and work hard, give it your all, miss your kids’ birthdays, your spouse’s birthdays, your friends’ funerals,  your anniversaries, the soccer game, the Broadway show, that trip to Europe – all of it – and still lose your job in a reorganization.

It’s a hollow feeling to realize that you’ve put so much on hold in service of your work, and it ultimately matters not a whit when the big change comes down. Like when the company is acquired. Or donations fall off. Or there’s new leadership. Hell, there are a hundred crazy reasons why things change and almost none of them can be changed by you working harder.

It’s entirely possible to work so intently that you raise your head one day and realize you forgot to see the Great Wall of China. Or visit the dentist. Or get married.

People over-focus on work for a lot of reasons. Might be because you work in a place where folks define themselves by their office hours and you want to fit in. Could be because you’re terrified of being seen as wrong, and standing out in a bad way. Maybe you have a deep, internal conviction that you are deeply flawed and it’s only a matter of time before everyone figures that out. Maybe your daddy always told you that winners never quit and quitters never win.

And what’s the common denominator? 

It’s all about other people’s reaction to you. It’s all about external validation.

So many folks scurry and perform for others so they can get the gold star, the pat on the back, the approval. They strive for hearing “well done”, “that’s a good girl”, “that’s my boy” because that’s the kind of external affirmation they’ve come to rely upon.

Which sometimes, despite our Herculean effort, remains tantalizingly out of reach.

(And if they ever do get it, they sort of don’t believe it, anyway.)

Friends, it’s the work of a lifetime to shift from a place of seeking external validation to being driven by internal acceptance.

You see, the most happy and well-adjusted people – whether they are adult executives, teenaged soccer players, young at-home parents or retirees – have this in common: They do what they do because it feels good and satisfies their values.

These people are not whipsawed by the vagaries of the crowd. If they put in a lot of hours, it’s not because they hope to fit in, or to be accepted, or to create a barrage of flak so no one can see the impostor lurking within.

No, if they work hard, they work hard because their integrity calls them to it.

And if they find a shortcut that’s in line with their values, they take it.

And if they want to leave on Friday at 3pm, they do.

And they take their vacation days.

And their sick days.

They live in balance with themselves and their choices. So in the event they get laid off, it doesn’t crush their sense of self and leave them paralyzed with anguish and worry. The most successful know who they are, they know what they bring, and they are comfortable in their own skin.

Rather than living for the approval of others, they affirm themselves.

So, I’m not going to tell you to change how you are. I’m just going to raise the possibility with you that there may be a better way to do what you do.

It boils down to this: Do what you can. Love what you do. And make space for the idea that maybe, just maybe, you don’t have to do it all.

 

Filed Under: Blog, Career Coaching, Clarity, Getting Unstuck, Happier Living, Uncategorized Tagged With: achievement, happiness, over work, overwhelm, reorganization, success, working too hard

Batting .500

May 5, 2013 By Michele Woodward 2 Comments

 

I mentioned this blog post to a friend the other day and thought perhaps you’d like to read it, too. From November, 2010:

The other day I posted on Facebook:

Facebook snip 2

From the comments posted in response, to-do lists seem to be the bane of existence for quite a few of us. Don’t like ‘em, but can’t live this modern life without ‘em.

As I lay me down to sleep, though, I looked back on my troublesome to-do list and realized that of the six items on the list, I had completed three. Fifty percent. How did I feel about that? Was it “good enough”?

Well.

If I were a baseball player and hit the ball as well as I completed my to-do list, I’d be batting .500. I’d be in the Hall of Fame. With my own display case. Because even the all-time best hitters never crack .400.

Ty Cobb .366

Babe Ruth .342

Lou Gehrig .340

Albert Pujols .334

Stan “The Man” Musial .331

And, drum roll please, Michele Woodward – .500.

Not too shabby.

To tell the truth, I could even pump up my average a little bit. Because after I created my to-do list, I asked the four questions that have become my to-do list mantra:

  • Does this task have to be done at all?
  • Do I have to do it now?
  • What’s the impact if I do this later?
  • Am I really the best person to do this task?

By asking myself these questions, I immediately eliminated one item (didn’t really need to be done) and asked my so-much-taller-than-me 17 year old son to do one thing (replace the porch light bulbs – after assuring him it would certainly count as community service on his college application).

The stuff I didn’t get done? I’ll do it today. Because today is such a better time to get it done (see Questions Two and Three).

The challenge for some of us is that last question – Am I really the best person to do this task? I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel a little queasy answering “nope”. We’ve all got our pride, right? And although we discussed the importance of showing vulnerability last week, discussing vulnerability doesn’t magically make doing it all that easy.  However, when you look at your values – what’s really important to you – then sometimes asking someone else to take on a task becomes less of a big deal.

For instance, I have a real value around helping my kids become independent adults. Adults need to know how to change light bulbs, don’t they? Therefore, tasking my son with this to-do is really teaching him an important life skill! [Which I will remind him. Repeatedly.]

At work, too, when the issues are larger than light bulbs, these questions come into play.  Are you a true mentor? Then let the kid have a shot. Are you a real leader? Then you better share the load. Are you a top producer? Then quadruple your production by adding more hands to the job.

And if you are one of Those People who look at fifty percent completion as fifty percent failure, then let me remind you of this:

For every three times he was at bat, Babe Ruth got out twice. And under his picture in the Hall of Fame is the caption: Sultan of Swat.

So relax with your to-do list. Remember to ask yourself those four questions. Then, step inside the batter’s box, take a few swings to limber up, and keep your eye on the ball all the way to the plate. Trust me, you will swing and miss. There will be a foul tip or two. But, from time to time, you’ll connect and hit it out of the park.

Bang – you’re in The To-Do List Hall of Fame, baby.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Blog, Career Coaching, Clarity, Getting Unstuck, Happier Living, Uncategorized, WiseWork Tagged With: accomplishing things, achievement, baseball, baseball stats, efficiency, getting stuff done

Start Something New

September 4, 2011 By Michele Woodward Leave a Comment

 

It’s time.

Today.

Right now.

It’s time to start something new.

If for no other reason than because it’s September.

And since your school days, September has always meant a fresh start.

A new box of pencils and a Big Chief tablet.  A killer pair of jeans and a fierce haircut.  The prospect of anything-could-happen adventures.

Oh, I just love me some September.

And how about you? I know you have that thing you’ve been thinking about.  You’ve been mulling it over all summer.  Ruminating, even. And you’ve been wondering how and when to get started.

Hey, there’s no more perfect time to start something new than September.

[You’ve known that to be true since you were six, haven’t you?]

So let’s get going.

Start by dreaming and visualizing what it’s going to be like when that thing you want is done, finished and in place. Feel that feeling. Claim it. Own it.

Then, break it down.  What needs doing until what you want is completely done?

What’s the first thing? Go ahead – do that little thing.

Then do the second thing you need to do to get it all done.

Do the next thing.  And the thing after that.

Feel what you’re doing as you’re doing it. Claim it. Own it.

And, thing by thing, you will welcome growth, learning and achievement into your life.

You can get that new job.

You can start walking more.

You can have that hard conversation.

You can choose vegetables more often.

You can finally decide.

You can be centered, calm and peaceful.

It’s totally doable.

How do I know?  Simple – it’s doable because it’s September.

The Month of Something New.

 

Filed Under: Career Coaching, Clarity, Getting Unstuck, Managing Change Tagged With: achievement, big chief tablet, change, do something new, doing what you love, new start, September, to-do list

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