Michele Woodward

Powerful Coaching. Powerful Results.

WiseWork

Do You Think Like An Hourly Employee?

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City commuters. Abstract blurred image of a city street scene.

 

It takes a lot to blow my mind. Really, a lot.

And recently I have, indeed, had my mind blown.

So let me tell you about it.

First, this thing kept coming up over and over again in my one-on-one coaching sessions. At first, just one person said it, then another, then three more and then – obviously, I’m lightning quick on the uptake – the shape of the thing became clear.

And I leaned back in my chair and said, “Wow.”

The realization is that some of us, even if we have a capital C in our title – CEO, COO, CFO – still see ourselves as hourly employees.

Especially if our parents were hourly employees. If our grandparents were hourly employees? Well, in that case, the mindset is often completely baked in.

So what, you ask? What’s wrong with hourly employment?

Nothing – I’ve had plenty of jobs that paid by the hour (Would You Like Fries With That?). There’s dignity, importance and purpose in working this way.

Though, sometimes, the clues we get working in hourly jobs are these:

  • The boss is the boss and I do what the boss tells me to do
  • I do my shift and that’s all I owe them
  • Work is drudgery and it’s impossible to get ahead
  • My schedule is not my own
  • I could be fired at any time for any reason so I better sit down, shut up and look busy

These clues add up to an attitude we take with us when we move into a salaried role. I’ve seen it so many times, manifested as:

  • Being fearful of (and overly deferential to) leadership
  • Not taking a stand or having an opinion
  • Working to the clock
  • Anxiety, depression and uncertainty

Other folks take it in a whole other direction. They make it:

  • “I’m being paid so much money – I have to give this job everything I’ve got!”
  • Fearful of losing the job they never believed they could have
  • Working with no boundaries
  • Anxious about having sole responsibility for decision-making
  • Impossible to have difficult conversations with subordinates
  • No or limited interests outside of work

Now, of course, this doesn’t affect every hourly employee who’s ever moved into a salary role and not everyone responds the same way.

But enough do that it warrants a little exploration, if you ask me.

Because I have seen people sabotage their careers because they haven’t been able to make the mental jump from “someone who does what other people tell them to do” to “I tell people what to do.”

They can’t seem to figure out how to move from “I am on a tightrope over a chasm of failure” to “Mistakes happen and my role makes it possible for me to learn and lead regardless.”

It’s a big leap from “I’m a cog in the machine” to “I run the machine.”

Most of us will work for years and years. My Social Security summary shows that I paid my first FICA tax in 1977 (from an hourly wage job!). Assuming that I continue working until I’m 70, that’s a work life spanning 53 years. Fifty-three years, darlings.

That is a long time to simply survive.

It’s enough time to realize that each of us what we learned in the past may have suited us in the past, but today is today. And it’s completely fair to consider: What works for me today?

Could it be appreciating an hourly past but living right now, in these circumstances?

Maybe it’s creating a life and a career that works not only for you but for the people you’re connected with – family, friends, colleagues and superiors alike.

I believe it’s also the satisfaction that comes from knowing, regardless of all the obstacles, that you’ve persevered and made a difference.

All of us owe it to ourselves to know where our feeling of limitation and anxiety is rooted and then pull up the roots and take a hard look.

If your ancient, inherited attitudes toward work are holding you back from being fulfilled and happy (which you can be even with work that’s challenging) then perhaps it’s time to toss those old roots onto the compost pile and start planting new seeds. And my hope is that they flower as a new way of being – and success – in your own +50 year work life.

 

 

 

What To Do When You Succeed

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There can be a moment – and you need to have your eyes wide open to catch it – when you realize that you’ve accomplished what you’ve set out to do.

You got the degree, you got the promotion.Businessman Thinking Aspirations Goals Contemplating Concept

You built the business, you cleaned the garage.

Your garden is just how you envisioned it, your kids are in school.

Whatever you dreamed, well, you dreamed it right into existence.

And the thing you do next, in that moment-after-realization, will prove critical.

You can, as some folk do, feel a profound sense of loss because the avid pursuit of anything can be compelling. The hunt can give you a reason to get up in the morning and put one foot in front of the other. It’s like the stress of getting “there” (or anywhere, for that matter) is the only motivation that matters to you.

You might, as some folk do, hurriedly seek out Another Thing To Accomplish because idle hands are the Devil’s playground (or some other nose-to-the-grindstone sort of phrase). It won’t do to be braggy or rest on your laurels – no one says that’s the way to get ahead! Plus, there is just so much to do every single day.

Or, it’s also entirely possible in the moment of realization to find the space to take a breather. You might consciously slow down, get calm, clear, and centered to reflect on the journey you’ve taken. You could, in that moment of stillness, feel extraordinarily grateful for the ability to accomplish what you’ve accomplished and honored by the people who helped you along your path.

You find time to allow yourself to be filled up by the honest and honorable pride in doing something that mattered to you. Maybe even to the world.

And after that rest – however long or short it may need to be – you trust that you will naturally find your Next Thing.

Because in the stillness you were reminded that any good thing you do is born of curiosity, driven by integrity and delivered with care.

You treasure reflecting on your success because it points your way toward more of the same.

Quiet, thoughtful space to consider and appreciate – it’s not what our go-go-go culture suggests because it’s not very tweet-able or shareable.

But, I assure you, it is the thing the most successful people do, time and time again.

 

The Fierce Velocity of Living

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Dust on the notesLife comes at us with a certain fierce velocity these days.

Due dates, deadlines, status updates, pressure – the pace is frenetic and the intensity is off the charts.

And that’s for parents of pre-schoolers.

Your life is pretty daggone intense and fast, too.

Even your favorite executive coach feels the pressures of workload, but fortunately I have plenty of tactics and skills to bring to bear when the speed gets to be a little too…overwhelming.

First thing I do?

Take a break.

I know, I know – “bear down, get through it, push, shoulder to the wheel” – but, really, no. Taking a small stop when things are hectic is a sure way to prevent errors.

Like, let’s say you’re using a crane to lift a piano out of a third floor apartment, so you pause right at the window to make sure you’re at the precisely correct angle. Just a pause before you go forward. Before you scrape the entire left side or, heaven forbid, totally shatter the instrument.

You take a minute and you check.

So that’s why I haven’t written in the last couple of weeks. I’ve been taking a wee pause to make sure:

– I want to keep writing

– I know what it is I want to say

– I understand how it is I want to write

And, it occurs to me that I could use your perspective.

You see, since 2005, when I started a monthly newsletter (and a special shout out to the 52 of you who read that first issue – I have a list, I know who you are, and I really appreciate your continued steadfastness), I have written with an eye toward what you, the reader, would like to hear. To find a topic, I’ve often thought, “Two of my readers are having coffee today… What are they talking about?”

I think of you.

What you need, and what you want, matters to me. So I’d appreciate it if you would take 90 seconds to answer five simple questions for me: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/Z6M7PKH

That way, I can put your feedback into the mix of what I’ve been thinking and come out with even more clarity around what I do.

And it will make our time together than much more rewarding, and fun.

Thank you.

All Together Now

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Sometimes, vector seamless pattern with a large group of men and women. flawhen tough decisions need to be made, you need to go back to basics.

I was talking with a woman the other day who was facing a thorny decision in her work. Should she or shouldn’t she? Worrying, ruminating and floundering, she turned to me and said, “What do I do?”

Shoot, I didn’t know. But I did ask one question, “At this point in your life, what’s your biggest priority?”

And she paused.

A longish pause.

Then she started to laugh. “No one has asked me that through this whole thing. I haven’t even asked myself that!”

And just like that, the path forward opened up. She knew what she was going to do – which wasn’t going to be easy, but it certainly was very clear.

I tend to ask clients-in-crisis like this to think about their priorities and their values. What’s important? What do they value the most?

It used to surprise me that nearly every person used the same words to describe at least one of their top values – words like Connection, Belongingness, Together, To Be With, Team.

I’ve learned that for so many of us it’s the connection with others that really gives our lives a sense of meaning.

And yet so many of these same people tell me that the workplace is the last place they can expect to find real, authentic belongingness.

Last week I spoke with a senior guy at a huge multi-national company. Part of our work together has been deciphering the world-class, sharp-elbowed office politics played within the organization.

Now, the higher up the leadership pyramid you go, the more intense the office politics get in most organizations – elbows are much pointier and jabbier.

My senior guy was telling me how the people one level above him act at meetings. “They never participate,” he said. “They just sit there with their fingers templed in front of them and say, ‘Thank you for your input. We will be getting back to you.’ Where’s the collaboration? The connection? The sharing of information? I feel like a sitting duck because I never know if I’ve made a good presentation or not. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing because I don’t have all the information! Are we working for the same company, or not?”

Ah, Grasshopper, what you see here is a blatant power play. What you observe is information hoarding. And – I’ll go even further – it’s bullying.

Last summer I led a webinar for the Harvard Business Review on bullies and jerks in the workplace. It turned out to be one of the most popular webinars HBR has ever offered – which is great and at the same time, very sad.

In that webinar, I defined a bully as someone who tries to keep you from being able to do your job and/or tries to crush your sense of self.

My guy’s senior colleagues with their templed fingers think they are playing politics but in reality they are blocking collaboration, making things harder than they have to be and killing the efficiency of the group. They have learned to be bullies.

Perhaps they do this under the mistaken belief that powerful people behave a certain way. It’s a bit of John Wayne with a smidge of Clint Eastwood and just a soupçon of The Donald. You know who I’m talking about – a solo contributor with power, who leaves people trembling in his wake. Who has no time for other people unless they’re passing him ammo or a whiskey bottle.

You know the guy. And this archetype may have worked in a different day and age, with a different generation. But, today, it’s in direct opposition to what most people crave in their work.

They want togetherness. They want feedback on their impact, reflected in their connection with friends and colleagues – probably because formal feedback processes aren’t really working.

The best leaders today know this.

They know that there’s a new yardstick for measuring leadership effectiveness, and it’s not how many people stand up when you walk into a room. And it’s not about how much information  you hoard.

It’s about how well the people who work for you perform.

It’s about what they accomplish.

It’s about their efficiency and their impact.

It’s about how they collaborate, belong and connect.

So if you are a leader in an organization and you have a tendency to hoard information, to temple your fingers, to be a lone wolf?

You’ve gotta knock that off.

Start collaborating. Share. Ask questions. Listen. Seek advice.

Provide an environment where your people can connect and belong. Give them a way to find meaning.

And if you do, here’s the promise: You will have more productive people, better teams, greater impact and more success.

Together, connected, with, belonging – those are the words, and the only way we’re all going to move forward.

 

On Memorial Day

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photo credit: James Tourtellotte

As difficult as my working life has been at times, one thing is true: I’ve never had to face enemy fire.

I’ve never had to quickly assess the risk threat and ask my people to advance into certain combat – and possible death.

I’ve never been far from home, hungry and exhausted, in a strange land with a different language and differing customs carrying an eighty pound pack through sandstorms,  snowstorms, rainstorms over mountains, through rivers, in jungles.

I haven’t been on a small boat in a big ocean, looking for the incoming weaponry that could sink my vessel.

I’ve not been in an airplane, tracing a safe route through enemy flak.

No, I’ve not been tested in these ways.

And so today and every day I honor those who served and those who gave their lives in service to their country.

It’s awe-inspiring and humbling to consider the men and the women who simply saw a need and filled it. Who went above and beyond not only because they could but because – in one split second – they knew they had to do something to save the lives of others.

I’m especially moved by those who never expected to be in combat but found themselves there. The nurses, the quartermasters, the cooks – those people who stepped up when duty called, and did what needed to be done.

Some of these people, in fact, lie in the Tomb of the Unknowns at Arlington Cemetery – their names are not known but their heroism is never forgotten.

All soldiers, sailors, airmen, Marines, Coast Guardsmen – they are valuable beyond measure, and stand shoulder to shoulder in a line of service which leads from our nation’s earliest days directly to today.

At the Gettysburg battlefield over 150 years ago, President Abraham Lincoln said:

The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

Today, I honor the last full measure of devotion of so many. Those honored dead who bravely did what so many of us have not done.

It is to them this day is dedicated, with respect and honor for their great sacrifice and the great sacrifice of the families they left behind.

 

photo credit: James Tourtellotte

 

 

Is It Me?

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See this book right here? The one looking like a sticky-note hedgehog?

This book, No One Understands You And What To Do About It by Heidi Grant Halvorson has just entered the pantheon of Books I Recommend Most Frequently.

Honestly, it’s terrific. And applicable to so many situations:

If you are starting a new job and want to make sure you get off on the right foot – read this book.

If you are often the number two candidate for a new position and want to make sure you’re the number one next time, read this book.

If, like Rodney Dangerfield, you don’t get no respect, read this book.

If you went to night school to get an advanced degree but no one in the office sees you as anything other than the former intern, read this book.

If you’re a leader, read this book.

If you’re not as successful as you’d like to be, read this book.

If you’d like to be closer to other people, read this book.

If you want to understand your marriage, read this book.

If you want to understand yourself, read this book.

I mean, people, if I haven’t been clear enough: Read. This. Book.

Heidi Grant Halvorson was a guest on my late, beloved podcast Wisework because of her earlier book Nine Things Successful People Do Differently (also on my Books I Recommend Most Frequently list, btw). So, obviously, I have joined the ranks of Halvorson Fangirls.

And I completely and utterly own that.

Heidi writes about complicated research with a deft and humorous touch, which serves to make the concepts that much easier to grasp. As in:

“This may come as no surprise, but powerful people are more likely to act like selfish jerks. Research by a group of Berkeley researchers, led by Paul Piff, has found evidence of power-induced jerkiness in even the most mundane daily activities.”

Don’t you love “power-induced jerkiness” remaining unedited in a book published by Harvard Business Review Press? Halvorson goes on to use the study as a way in to understanding why the powerful are so much different from those who perceive themselves to be less powerful (Just so you know, the big difference is because they powerful are thinking about their own goals, not yours).

Made me think about the inequality discussion in a whole new light.

And that is the marvel of this book. Read it and you will see things differently. You might even make some changes in the way you are doing things, so you have greater success (what she would call being Promotion-minded) or you might make changes so you can mitigate the chances that you’ll be misunderstood in high-stakes situations (that’s Prevention-minded – see, I learned something!).

Regardless, this book is a keeper. It’s practical, thoughtful, funny and purposeful.

In short, I liked it. Very much.  

I believe you will, too.

 

Let’s Talk About Joy

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Close Up Of Soap BubbleIn my line of work, I often meet people who feel like their job needs to be… well, work.

It’s supposed to be hard, a challenge, a trial, wearying.

It has to be a difficult challenge, a burden, a slog.

So, when I say to them, “Let’s find a way to base your career on joy”, they look at me as if I just got off the last train from OutThereville.

For these dear, harried souls, “joy” and “work” are never used in the same sentence. Never. Ever.

Of course, until they meet me.

Because I know that when you base your career in something that’s joyful, work doesn’t feel like work – it feels like a pleasure. Like an adventure. Like the most exhilarating learning you’ve ever experienced.

When you can find the joy in what you do, then stuff like toxic people, or unexpected roadblocks, or other setbacks become simply Things That Happen. When you’re operating from a true, deep love of what you’re doing, Things That Happen…happen. And so you deal with them and get back to doing what you love.

Sure, maybe wiser and more experienced, but still deeply joyful.

You want a real world example, don’t you?

So, recently, I had a colonoscopy. Immediately, you’re thinking “joy!”, aren’t you?

When I met with the doctor before the procedure, he told me that he had learned how to do colonoscopies when he was in the Army in Vietnam. I said, “Wow, you must have seen the technology change so much between then and now.”

He looked at me curiously, then said, “I sure have!” and went on to tell me, with a lot of enthusiasm, what’s changed. In that moment, I saw that my doctor loves his work. Loves it. Finds it fascinating. Appreciates the work he does. Feels joy.

And he does colonoscopies for a living.

Someone asked me yesterday how they could have a “bigger” career. How could they push past the barriers and boundaries they encounter and live large?

I replied with: “Start with joy.” Because with joy as your foundation, things come so easily. People find you a pleasure to be around and want to do business with you. Opportunities come. Doors open.

Life gets rich and full.

So, maybe it’s time for you to take a close look at your life. Where are you on joy? How can you get more if you don’t have enough?

How can you shift from the limiting idea that a life worth living is by definition a hard-fought battle, and move toward the bounteous idea that the best life is one founded on pure, unadulterated joy?

Because if you can, everything will break wide open for you.

 

Believe Your Way Forward

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Slack line in the city park.

Time after time, a huge truth is revealed to me:

Whatever you believe becomes your reality.

About six months ago, a woman came to me for coaching. A Vice President in a Fortune 50 company, she was worried because someone was promoted over her.

Someone younger.

Someone male.

And, in her late 50s, she wondered if she was getting sent a message. Perhaps she was getting sunsetted. Maybe they were getting ready to let her go. Maybe this was her terminal job and she’d never ever get hired again.

After all, who hires someone who’s 57 years old?

As a result of these assumptions, she worked extremely hard and went above and beyond to deliver results. Early mornings, late evenings, travel, conference calls, meetings and paperwork. She did it all.

And it felt like no one noticed. And it was never enough.

When we first met, her stress level was through the roof. I mean, stratospheric.

I knew what she needed – she needed  to rebuild her confidence and develop a strategy to manage the worry. She also had to figure out what was true about her work situation.

Because what you believe becomes your reality.

And she surely believed things were pretty terrible.

Long story short, among the things we did was to create a strategy for her to become more visible – in the office and out of the office. So, when offered a speaking role at a big conference, she said yes.

No, wait a minute. She said, “Yes!!”

Afterwards, people gave her amazing feedback about her presentation and she felt really good about how the whole conference went.

Then, one day, her phone rang. It was the CEO of a boutique-y company that excels in her area of expertise. In fact, they are more highly regarded than her company in this particular area.

The CEO said, “I’ve had my eye on you. Will you come work for me?”

Would she? Let’s see – more money, better title, solid-line reporting to the CEO.

And suddenly the assumption that no one hires a 57-year old woman went out the door.

And a new truth was unveiled:

“I am appreciated for what I do.”

Which is something pretty wonderful to believe.

So let me ask you: What reality are you believing into existence?