Michele Woodward

Powerful Coaching. Powerful Results.

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A Pandemic Is Not A Snowstorm

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Those middle-of-the-night epiphanies? If you can remember them – which is always a big “if” – they often don’t have the same resonance in the daylight that they carried in the wee small hours of the night.

Last night I had a clarity awakening and this morning – surprise of surprises – it still felt true.

I realized that I have been treating this pandemic like it’s a blizzard. I’ve been enduring and waiting.

You know, like you spend time wondering and betting how many inches or feet you’re going to get. You wait for the snowfall to slow down so you can shovel the sidewalks. You wait for the snowplows to get to your street. You bake brownies and cookies and cakes, thinking that you’re living time out of time so none of the indulgences will actually count.

But this pandemic is not like a blizzard. Not at all.

Enduring and waiting has only made me frustrated, anxious and mad.

No, what’s happening now is a total shift in the way I live today and will live for the foreseeable future. A client who works in a big company says they are planning to have to deal with this virus and its impact at least until June, 2021.

June. 2021.

So what I need to do for myself is wrap my arms around the is-ness of this new life.

Which means I need to embrace the necessity of exercising at home, and the non-negotiable need I have to take a brisk walk every day.

I need to eat smaller portions because I’m using fewer calories.

I need to drink less alcohol because as I mentioned *calories* and if you don’t really know what day it is, how can you keep track of how many glasses of wine you’ve had?

Taking care with my schedule is even more important because it creates guideposts for the day.

If I can create something everyday – intentional creativity – I will grow an important part of my brain.

Connecting with family and friends routinely rather than happenstance-ly will ease my loneliness.

Prioritizing my rest, keeping my environment tidy, dressing the way I want to dress that day (and showering, let’s not forget that) are things I can do to ensure a good quality of life.

And, helping others is a thing I will always do. If I’m running to CVS to pick up a prescription or to the grocery store every other week, you know I’ll be reaching out to neighbors to see if they need something.

My new normal is markedly different from my very-recent normal in that I’m no longer enduring, no longer waiting.

I’m living. I’m improving. I’m learning. I’m growing. I’m helping.

All within a container that is safe for me, and safe for you, and safe for all of us.

Hell of an epiphany, huh?

 

Nothing Slips Through The Cracks

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I should start paying my clients. Steve The CEO, for instance, deserves a very nice fruit basket from me because he’s the one who turned me on to a planner I actually use. And because I use it (and it’s designed so well), my usually productive self has become a super productive self.

Steve mentioned Michael Hyatt’s Full Focus Planner a couple of times in our coaching sessions. I’ll admit it, I was slightly jaded because I’ve heard so much about so many “productivity tools” which often cost a lot and end up sitting somewhere, unused and gathering dust.

One more mention from Steve, though, and I broke down. I ordered a copy from Amazon.com (when I realized I could save on shipping because: Prime). It sat around a few days after it arrived because I didn’t want to seem too eager. And it was a little daunting, what with all that empty space to fill.

It’s designed to help you manage your stuff on a quarter-by-quarter basis, so you’ll need four books for the entire year. I started with one quarter and now have my second book – clearly it’s working for me.

The genius in this planner is simple – make goals, keep goals top of mind, regularly review progress toward goals, revise goals, keep them top of mind, review, revise, keep going.

There’s a place at the front of the book to make annual goals with the ever-so-important focus on the real motivations for choosing those particular goals. Consistently breaking those big goals down into manageable and actionable steps is another helpful discipline.

The meat of the thing is a daily agenda highlighting my three most important tasks – the Daily Big 3 – and a daily agenda down the side of the page, which helps me see when I wake up and what my morning ritual looks like. The Daily Big 3 make it possible to feel as though I’m making progress because they are things I can check off when completed.

And there is nothing so satisfying as checking something off, am I right?

Each week, the book is formatted to help you take a look at your progress, what worked, what didn’t, what’s coming at you next week and then to set priorities based on all of that.

I’ve used the notes side of the page to work through budgets, and accounts receivable, and ideas for new coaching approaches. I have been known to doodle there, too.

Do I fill in every single thing box on every single page? No, I do not. I have adapted to my own way of being. Plus, I have a tiny rebellious streak which you may or may not be aware of.

And the result? In the three months I’ve been using this planner nothing has slipped through the cracks. Not one thing. I’ve been more productive than ever and I have more free time than ever, too.

I am amazed.

You know I’m the person who created The Personal Planning Tool and the new 10-Year Tool, so I know all about planning.

All I can tell you is that Michael Hyatt and his team have created something really special here and it’s become integral to the way I’m organizing myself.

Thanks, Steve. Your lovely thank you gift will be in the mail shortly.

Becoming UnBusy

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Last week my coaching sessions with various clients covered these topics:

  1. Navigating office politics
  2. Creating and shaping critical work relationships
  3. Managing competing priorities
  4. Recovering from disappointment and frustration
  5. Career planning
  6. Owning and claiming success
  7. Making a plan for the future

Know what the solution to each of these things is?

It’s having the time and space to step back, reflect, understand and plan.

Know what else? Everyone in the world thinks they are too busy to step back, even for a moment, to reflect, understand and plan.

I guess that’s why coaching was invented, amIright?

The Cult of Busyness has billions of adherents. Members drink the Kool-Aid, which is flavored with a heavy dose of If-I’m-Not-Busy-I-Don’t-Matter (which tastes a little like Mylanta, if you were wondering).

Busyness is too many meetings where nothing gets done.

Busyness is where nothing gets done because there are too many meetings.

Busyness is exhaustion.

Busyness is snapping at others because you’re exhausted.

Busyness is the illusion that you matter, that what you do matters, that you’re making a difference – but only if you’re busy enough.

But you really aren’t sure because you’re often too busy to assess whether or not what you’re doing is actually working.

The famous theologian Henri Nouwen wrote:

“Why are people so busy? Perhaps they want to have success in their life or they want to be popular or they want to have some influence. If you want to be successful, you have to do a lot of things; if you want to be popular, you have to meet a lot of people; if you want to have influence, you have to make a lot of connections. The problem is that your identity is hooked up with your busyness: ‘I am what I do; I am what people say about me; I am what influence I have.’ As soon as you fail, you get depressed; as soon as people start talking negatively about you, or as soon as you feel you have no influence whatsoever, you feel low…

“Solitude is listening to the voice who calls you the beloved. It is being alone with the One who says, ‘You are my beloved, I want to be with you. Don’t go running around, don’t start to prove to everybody that you are beloved. You are already beloved.’ That is what God says to us. Solitude is the place where we go to hear the truth about ourselves.”

Becoming UnBusy is hard work. Because it requires solitude. And solitude requires boundaries.

You have to have limits, and limits are hard to establish and harder to enforce. We live in a world where having boundaries and standards seems counter-cultural and weird.

A couple of clients asked me this week about my work and my boundaries. “How,” they asked, “do you do it?” The “Miss Smarty Pants” part was fully implied.

Here are some of the ways I do what I do:

  • I only attend meetings or events if my presence makes a difference
  • I only attend meetings where something gets done
  • I always know who’s accountable for what
  • I know I’m a morning person so I front-load my day – meaning, I don’t work after sundown
  • I also don’t look at my phone after 9pm
  • I have a maximum of five client sessions a day
  • I create systems and procedures and stick to them
  • I go to sleep at the same time-ish every night and wake about the same time-ish every morning
  • I honor my priorities around my health, my need for learning, and my desire to be connected with my closest loved ones – these things I attend to first

What does these boundaries do for me? Why, each of these things allow me to have the time and space to reflect, to understand, to plan.

To be UnBusy.

To be strong, effective, focused, balanced and unstressed. To have time to do things other than work.

To live a life fully – fully engaged, fully curious, fully in love. 

Being UnBusy, though, does make it difficult at social occasions where everyone says “Gosh, I’m so busy!”, and I say, “I’m not! I’m totally engaged with my work and having a blast!”

You should see the expressions on their faces.

Who could have known that disruption was this much fun?

 

Who’s Ready For Some Homework?

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I have the firm belief that it’s impossible to make a really great plan for the future unless you take time to reflect on the past.

That’s the thinking behind the Personal Planning Tool I’ve been offering you since 2009. Every year I update it for the coming year and this time when I wrote out the new date, I said something eloquent and thoughtful.

I said, “Whoa.”

As in, whoa, what a great opportunity to reflect on everything that’s happened in 2019 as we plan for 2020, but why not look waaaay back? Why not look at where we all were in 2010?

So I sat down, and I am known to do, and created a tool to do that reflection. What were the most powerful questions? What got to the heart of the matter?

I made a copy of my handwritten draft and walked myself through the emerging process. Tweaked. Refined.

Then I sent my handwritten, scrawled out notes to a dozen helpful souls who offered to try it and provide helpful and critical feedback.

I waited. But before long my email started to ping with messages like this:

“I was surprised by the theme of taking care of my physical body. I’m seeing my family age and it suddenly feels URGENT to care for my vessel in ways it never did before. This came through so loud and clear as I filled this out.”

“I thought the whole review was thought provoking and valuable. The big surprise to me was the question: If you could send a message from today to your 2030 self, what would you say? As I read it, I teared up. Big time.  At first I thought the question didn’t make sense – easier to give advice/share wisdom with 20/20 hindsight –  but then why did it bring tears to my eyes?! I realized the reason was that my thoughts about the future were pessimistic (which is not my usual personality default) and I didn’t know what to tell my future self beyond “Savor the butterflies now.” ;/ Not a useful way to move forward action-wise. And that I could do better for myself and values than that. Where I am currently is to say to my 2030 year self that the future is still wide open (props to Tom Petty) and to stay sturdy; my work here is not done.”

“I think the biggest thing I learned from this exercise is that you have no idea what the future could bring. Ten years ago, I was single, had not met my husband and could not have dreamt of what my future life could hold. I also noticed today – 10 yrs. later – that I omit my career and myself in much of this plan. I am in a supporting role and put my needs after those of others. However, this process reinforces a few things that I need to make a priority – working out, reconnecting with friends. I also realized how much I am driven [now] by personal vs. professional goals. It also makes me fear a bit for the next 10 years since things have been so good, similar to that of a recession after good economic times.”

“I cried on page 4.  These questions were POWERFUL.  When you compare 10 years the things that need to be fixed are in such plain sight. I focused on what was still not going well but, I also need to celebrate that I have doubled my income in 10 years.”

Deep and abiding thanks to the brave and kind folks who took the time to test drive the 10-Year Tool. Which is now up and ready for you!

Go to www.michelewoodward.com/resources to access both the new 10-Year Tool and its big sister, the 2020 Personal Planning Tool. These two worksheets are designed to complement one another – and also designed to be the sort of thing you take your time with. To think. To reflect. To grow your understanding.

This ain’t no Cosmo quiz, friends.

And, as always, the resources on my page are available to you at no charge.

After you use the 10-Year Tool or the 2020 Personal Planning Tool, drop me a note and let me know what you think. I can’t wait to hear about the things you learn!

Say This, Not That

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You may know that one of my core values is learning.

There’s nothing I love more than digging in, coming to understanding and integrating that knowledge into my life.

I know, it makes me so fun to be around at parties.

One of the most important learnings of the last ten years has been around how to speak.

Yes, it’s entirely possible that I emerged from the womb reciting Elizabeth Barrett Browning – but that’s talking and anyone can do that.

What I’m talking about is speaking in a way that opens up conversation and relationships.

The simple rule I’ve learned is: Ask so that others can answer fully, and truthfully.

Mind-blowing, huh?

Here’s the example:

“Are you having a good day?”

vs.

“How’s your day?”

In the first instance, the way you’ve constructed the question suggests that the listener needs to experience a “good day” to be in your good graces. You are, in fact, telling them what to feel.

Maybe your intention is to keep things light, superficial. Or you think you’re being optimistic and sunny, all Law of Attraction-y. Regardless, the result is the person responds with, “Yeah…sure”, which might be untrue, and your relationship is now touched by that small little lie.

But when you simply ask, “How’s your day?”, you allow a response that’s real. The person can say what’s on their mind, something like: “It’s a tough day – I had to put my dog down.” How honest. How revealing. How real.

Then you can be with that person, in that moment, in their reality and sorrow.

You have an opportunity to be a supportive friend, family member, colleague. You can know them more fully by understanding their truth. And they can know you, too, by experiencing your kindness.

Yes, being empathetic might take something from you. And you might feel like you’re not up to the task.

I imagine you are, though. Because I know you’re a kind, thoughtful, compassionate person who wants close connections with others.

You can do it. You can be open to hearing the truth, and dealing with whatever that truth brings along with it.

So, say this: “How are you feeling?” rather than “Feeling good?”

Say, “Where are you on the Framastam contract?” rather than “Are you done with the Framastam contract yet?”

Say, “What are your plans tonight?” rather than “You’re not going to that block party on Garfield St., are you?”

Say, “What do you think of the succotash?” rather than “Don’t you love this succotash?”

You can open doors with the questions you ask, or you can close them. It’s a powerfully simple learning that leads to a fuller, richer experience for all involved.

 

 

Trust & Respect

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Imagine a world where you trusted and respected everyone you came into contact with.

People in your family.

People in your community.

People in your workplace.

Imagine that.

I know, I know – I’ve gone all John Lennon on you.

So many of us live in a trust and respect deficit and even the idea that we might actually close the gap seems impossible.

This became top of mind for me this week when writer from Arianna Huffington’s Thrive Global reached out to ask if I could give her some thoughts on delegating. Why is it necessary? Why is it so stressful? How can you make it less stressful? How can you make it work?

As I prepared my answers, I realized that delegation is so easy when you trust and respect the person you’re giving the task to, and when they trust and respect you, too.

When there’s plenty of trust to go around, all the angsty stress vanishes.

I give you work because I know you’ll do a good job. I trust that when you have a problem, you’ll come to me with questions. End of story.

I accept the work you give me because I know you trust me to do a good job. I respect you enough to come to you for clarity when I need it. End of story.

It’s a critical skill you’ve probably never had a minute of training on. Do you know how to build trust and respect with other people? In my experience, it’s these five things:

  1. You allow yourself to be known
  2. You follow through on your commitments
  3. You’re honest and transparent
  4. You’re predictable and consistent
  5. You’re kind

When you have trust and respect with people in your orbit, things just get easier. Here’s a model I use a lot in my work – it comes from Patrick Lencioni’s work on teams:

 

Notice how Trust is the foundation of the pyramid? If we trust one another, we can manage conflict effectively. If we can do that, we can create a shared commitment to the decisions we make and hold one another accountable. Only then do we get to results.

So, focusing on building trust is vital to success.

Let’s say you work somewhere or are in a relationship and you know that trust and respect are lacking. And you know it extends both ways.

Think of how much better it might be if you were able to build a tiny bit of trust. To grow a small measure of success. To start to allow yourself to be known just a little bit, to follow through on what you’ve promised, to be a little more honest and transparent, to be more predictable and consistent, to choose to be kind. Even when you’re stressed.

Especially when you’re stressed.

I’m not saying you have to go from zero to sixty in .3 seconds and change everything all at once – I’m saying, change it a little bit and see what happens.

If things don’t get better, if you don’t move toward more success and fulfillment, well then, you know.

You know it’s time to move to something different.

And, as a side note, with US unemployment figures so low, there’s never been a better time to find a new role.

Because life is too short to live in a trust and respect deficit.

Life is too short to live without getting those things that really matter to you accomplished.

Life is too short to be so walled off that you can’t allow anyone else to touch your stuff – meaning you can’t/won’t/would never delegate.

Life is way too short to be that kind of jackass.

 

The Thing About 3.6% Unemployment

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News broke this week that US unemployment reached a new low in April, falling to 3.6 percent. Who would have thought, in October of 2009 when unemployment peaked at 10 percent, that we’d ever see this sort of robust hiring?

All I can say is that 2009 was bleak for a lot of people, and it left a lot of scars.

I still see those scars in some organizations who continue policies and approaches they put into place then.

But what got you there won’t get you where you need to go. In light of what is, in fact, nearly functional full-employment for professionals, most organizations have to get smarter on how they treat their people.

In 2009, it seemed like there were forty or fifty out-of-work people in line for every job available. They would take anything – anything! – to keep themselves afloat, and some took significant pay cuts. Today, the unemployment rate tells us that there are too few people for the available jobs, so the surefire way to attract talent is to do everything you can do to take care of them.

This means your human resources function has to be on the ball and in the game. They have to focus on finding talent who will not be looking, and they have to be empowered to make solid, significant offers to the right people.

Your HR team also has to advocate for people who are doing really well in their jobs within the organization. If you don’t promote, grow and reward your top performers, you will lose them to an organization that will.

Where I live, Washington, DC, Amazon is coming into the market as an employer. They have committed to creating 25,000 new jobs at an average salary of $150,000. Average. This will put tremendous pressure on other employers in the area to up their game.

Imagine: You’ve got a great IT manager on your team who makes everything run smoothly. But you’ve held back raises for two years and routinely asked her to work on weekends and evenings when things get hairy. That talented woman? If she lives in the DC area, she’s already sent her resume to Amazon because she knows she’ll make more money doing more interesting work. And if she lives somewhere else, she might be making a plan to move.

She leaves – who are you going to find to replace her? It’s not going to be easy since there aren’t forty or fifty people in line for that opening, trust me. If you wait to see what resumes you collect from your online posting, there might be one. Who’s been out of work off and on for their entire career, and not entirely an ideal candidate.

When I raise this issue with some leaders, they tell me that their team is so happy and so committed to mission that their people would never leave. Never! In a million years.

Oh, but they will. For more pay, more opportunity, saner working hours, better bosses and more interesting work.

I’m already seeing it in my own clients.

So, to survive – I’m not even talking about thriving here – organizations have to begin to futureproof.

  • Compensate people fairly. Give raises. Give bonuses. Extend raises and bonuses beyond the C-suite to every single person within the organization.
  • Open up hiring to people who don’t look like you and don’t think like you. Diversity and inclusion leads to innovation. Innovation leads to success.
  • Stop paying your people for 40 hour workweeks and asking them to put in 60 hour workweeks. Those people will be among the first to leave.
  • Focus on creating an outstanding HR function within your organization, one that’s focused less on admin and more on strategy, recruitment and retention.
  • Jettison bad bosses. You know who they are – you simply lack the will to either manage them to better behavior or let them go. Truth is, either they go or everyone else will.
  • Provide professional development for junior people in the organization. Because once you fire the bad bosses, you’ll need someone good to step in and do a great job.
  • Say thank you. The vast majority of working professionals want their sacrifices – the missed family events, the crunch times, the difficult choices – to matter. When you see commitment in your team, acknowledge it and express your gratitude. It goes a long way toward creating a cohesive team.

There are particular challenges managing organizations when there is functional full-employment. In many ways, the Great Recession created an employers market where salaries could be trimmed and overhead reduced.

Those days are gone.

Today, right now, it’s a talented and skilled candidates market. Are you prepared to everything you can to manage that reality?

The Thing About Culture

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People throw the word “culture” around like there’s a shared concept of what in the world they’re talking about.

“Culture”, for some, means for others to “do what you’re told.”

For snarky cynics, it means “what the website says and what no one actually does.”

For hopelessly optimistic folks, it means “that we’re all friends and we get along.”

Close, but no cigar, if you ask me.

Culture is, as I recently read, simply “The way we do things around here.”

How powerfully elegant is that?

The way we do things creates the culture in which we live and work.

So, if we want to change culture – we just change the way we do things.

Sounds easy, huh? But you know I like a process, so here goes:

First, we need to understand how it is we do things. This requires a little step back, and the detachment to catalogue our “how” without judgment.

How do we want people to spend their days? In back-to-back meetings? In the field? At their desks? On their feet?

What’s our paperwork flow like? What’s our approval process like?

How we spend our time reveals our true focus – so how does your organization (including your family) spend its time?

That’ll show you something really important.

Once we know how we do things, we need to ask the critical question: Who benefits from our culture?

If the only people benefitting are senior management, you’ve got a problem. Like, if senior leaders get their own suites at the Ritz Carlton while middle managers and others on the same trip have to double up at the Days Inn – what are you saying to your people? What are you creating?

If the only person benefitting is Carol in accounting whose fear of making a mistake means a ton of paperwork and molasses-like response time, you’ve got a problem. When you center your entire organization on the quirks and foibles of one personality – what are you telegraphing about what you value? About what’s important?

If the entire organization is centered around the CEO’s reluctance to have difficult conversations, you’ve got a problem. We’re talking about power grabs and petty tyrants and office politics and dysfunction kinds of problems.

And no one needs that nonsense.

If the only people benefitting are white men with a college degree, you have a very big problem. And I would argue that it’s time to move your organization beyond 1989 and firmly into 2019.

Just sayin’.

You have to be brave when you examine who benefits, because that person might be you. It’s entirely possible that the system is set up to mirror your strengths, values and priorities. Entirely possible.

But if you’re the only person benefitting, you owe it to your organization’s success to open it up. To allow more people the opportunity to grow and learn and thrive.

Creating a system which gives more people a chance to bring their knowledge and expertise to the table means building a culture that works.

Because any group makes better decisions with diverse voices and perspectives. You’ll also keep people on the team longer.

You’ll have more success.

The thing about culture is that it’s often created in a fractured set of vacuums – HR does things one way and Finance does something their way and Sales is a creature unto itself. All of this adds up to “the way we do things around here”.

And if the way we do things around here isn’t working, we have a responsibility to make it work. For everyone.