It’s a true fact that we tend to discount those things that come most easily.
I’ve seen it so many times – whatever you do effortlessly causes you to say things like:
“It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Anyone can do this.”
“No one needs to pay me for this – I’m having too much fun!”
And then someone calls you out, gives you a compliment, says, “Wow, you are so good at this” and you pull yourself up short and say, maybe only to yourself, “Really? Am I?”
Because plenty of us think the only work that matters has to be hard. And that anything worth having takes toil, stress and perseverance.
When things come easy, all of those learned, ingrained platitudes fall away and what are you left with?
Effortless expertise, that’s what. Also, flow. Creativity. Purpose. Accomplishment.
My heart fairly bursts when I read that last line again.
See, it’s not that I forgot that we tend to discount that which comes most easily – I can’t forget it, I say it to my clients all the time. But it certainly seems I forgot to coach myself on this subject.
Here’s how it happened: Last week I led a two-day retreat for coaches on business-building. They came from Montana, Hawaii, California, Florida, Ohio, West Virginia, North Carolina and the Washington, DC-area, and each dug deeply into a new framework I created for the event called “The Shoulds Map”. It was a powerful, meaningful process and every person left with a solid path forward toward success.
It was moving, resonant and inspiring.
Afterwards, one of the participants – an executive coach with 21 years of experience – said, “You must facilitate a lot of groups. You are so good at it.”
I tilted my head to the right and looked at her as if she had just spoken to me in ancient Greek. Or maybe tongues.
Groups? Sure I do groups. What’s the big deal? I’ve always have done groups. Groups, mostly, who want to – need to – get something done. Yeah, I do groups. Sure.
But do I promote groups? Do I talk about it? Do I highlight this skill? No, not really.
I sort of take whatever group work comes my way because group facilitation is so freaking easy for me.
And, we’re supposed to sellsellsell those things that are hard, right?
Sheesh. Look at me over here not walking my talk.
So today I’m talking about my work with groups who want to/need to get stuff done because I need to claim it. Ready?
I’m so good at facilitating groups that it feels effortless.
There, I said it.
And I’ll bet that there’s something you do that you need to claim. Something that’s so easy it feels effortless. Something so easy it doesn’t even register as that valuable to you.
Whether your skill is crunching the numbers to create the kind of financial analysis that seals the deal, or innovating spectacular interior design, or educating a room full of kindergartners, owning your particular thing is a huge step toward turning things around, being a good self-advocate and becoming a really happy, successful person.
So, I went first and now it’s your turn – let me facilitate this for you: What are you going to claim today?