Get What You Want

You should get what you want.

This is a fundamental belief of mine. Oh, I shared What I Believe with you last June, and What I Want For You in January, but I don’t think I was as clear and as simple as I want to be today.

You should get what you want.

But first, you’ve got to know what it is you really want.

Not what Aunt Tilly (as dear as she is) wants for you, or what your best friend Billy wants for you, or what your mama or your daddy or your wife or your husband or your kid or your therapist or your coach… none of what these people “want” for you is as important as what you want for you.

And that can take some uncovering. May I share some of my own work around this?

People have told me that I should be more famous. That I should do guest posts around the world wide web, and that I should speak at chichi, in-crowd venues, and that I should hire a publicist. And on its face, that’s an ego-boosting idea, isn’t it? I mean, to be so well-known that people stop me in the market for autographs? Eye me appreciatively as I enter the restaurant? Clamor for my attention? Buy so many of my books that I can loaf away the rest of my life on a desert island with a cabana boy named Curtis?

Oh, I tried. [never got to the Curtis part, honestly.] I tried to play the game the way well-meaning people suggested. Gave me the heebie-jeebies, to tell you the truth. Because what I really, really, really value is being able to do the work that I do. I’d rather be on the phone with you figuring out how to grow your career than stand in front of a thousand people delivering a speech. And if because of time and energy I can only do one of those things, I pick you.

And by picking you, I get what I want – the chance to do my work. And when I do my work, I am happy. And when I’m happy, I attract more clients which allows me to do more of my work, and make more money. Which makes me happy in a way intentional fame likely couldn’t.

See how neatly that works?

Society tells us, frequently, that the key to success is to be skinny, sexy and, apparently, a heavy drinker with a fake tan. [But maybe I watch too much Snooki, and listen to too much pop music.]

But the key to success – really – is to be yourself. Fully. However it is you need to be.

And you owe it to yourself to figure out what that is.

So, take some time to ask:

– What does healthy look like, to me?

– What does happy look like, to me?

– What does fun look like, to me?

– What does financially solid look like, to me?

– Where am I most engaged and involved?

– How can I do the things that lift me up, every single day?

Then listen to the answers.

Because they’re yours. And very valuable. Priceless, even.

You can get what you want. It’s right here for you.

All you have to do is get yourself clear. And then? Go get what you know you really want.

[photo credit: Michele Woodward]