It’s funny. I am usually the cock-eyed optimist who writes about how to create more happiness and joy in your life and your work.
I often tell you to focus on what’s working, and do more of that, and do less of the stuff that drains you or makes you unhappy.
I will tell you that’s The Secret of Life.
However.
Today, I’m telling you that sometimes, to make a change, you have to dwell in what really stinks.
Today, I’m suggesting that you have to wade right in and bathe in what’s worst about your situation to really make a change.
You know, maybe it’s human nature to hate change. Maybe it’s human nature to gaze at the bright side and tell ourselves that it’s really not so bad, this is what we need to do, maybe something else would be worse. Or harder. Or suck even more than the sucky thing we are already acquainted with.
But when you’re exhausted, or sick, or heavier than you need to be… Or when you have a short fuse, or are constantly on edge, or hate going into your office…
Then you’ve gotta start loving change.
It’s kind of like making your grandmother’s favorite casserole. The recipe calls for sour cream, butter, cream of mushroom soup, cream cheese and cheddar. You love your grandmother, and you love her cooking. Brings back memories. But eating sour cream, butter, cream of mushroom soup, creamed cheese and cheddar all baked together is not how you want to live your life today.
To change the recipe to suit the way you want to eat today, you make changes. Substitutions. Like using chicken broth, herbs, more protein. Sure, it’s not grandma’s recipe exactly. It might taste kind of like hers, but really – it’s yours now.
You know I have the idea that we each have 100 units of energy to spend each day. Yesterday’s are gone, and tomorrow’s belong to tomorrow. All you’ve got is 100 to use today. And if you have created day-after-day which calls for 120, you’ve got a problem.
It’s just like having too much dairy and fat in a recipe.
Something’s gotta go.
This is something that I’ve begun to realize about my own life. There are tactics, approaches, habits, ways of being, that worked for me as a coach, say, five years ago, but don’t particularly work for me today.
So, I’m going to let them go.
I’ll admit it – I feel a little uncertain about the changes I’m going to make. Will they work? Will I be happy? Will I make the revenue I want to make?
Truth? I don’t know. I could be making a mistake.
But.
The alternative – not making a change – feels like continuing to eat food that’s satisfying, but not really supportive of the way I really want to live.
You’re probably wondering what I’m going to do.
Right?
I’m going to do less one-on-one coaching, and focus on groups, workshops, retreats and speaking. I’m talking about having maybe five individual clients. That seems about right to me.
And it’s a big shift. Because right now? I’ve got about 20 individual clients. And the paradigm for many coaches is a plethora of clients. For many coaches, that’s their bread and butter. The source of most of their revenue. And I’m letting that go.
Kinda scary.
What I want is more time to create. What I want is more time to focus. What I want is a few of the absolutely right clients to work with very closely. And I want a bunch of the absolutely right people to work with in groups.
Because I have a priority around creating. Which is hard to do when you’re flat out. So I am reallocating my energy units so I can have the space, and time, to create.
Maybe you’ve created a recipe for your life that once worked, but isn’t working so well for how you want to live your life today. If so, wade right in and figure out what ingredients need to be swapped out. Figure out how to make a satisfying dish out of healthier stuff. And love that change.
Change: Tastes great. And, less filling.
Michele, as always, reading your words my heart heaves a big sigh of relief. I feel as though I’m talking with a very wise friend about things that we’re both sorting out–your post brings me clarity and peace.
I’ve been feeling this too, of late. The need to reshape my work so that it serves more people and also gives me the time and space I need for my own creative process.
Which means working with a few clients to really help them transform their lives and businesses. Working with groups of people who are truly committed to change, and serving them through workshops, courses and retreats.
Thanks so much for articulating this with your usual honesty and grace.
Love, Hiro
Michele,
Thank you for your authentic honesty with your transformation process. I too am going through my own. I have finally broken free from my golden handcuffs of college tenured professor/coach to full-time coaching practice along with my radio show. To let go of what I know will be there – a guaranteed paycheck each month for the rest of my life to creating the life I really want and getting to work with my clients and the new ones I have yet to meet is so exciting. Not only have I opened up time on my calendar by not teaching anymore at the college, but a whole lot of energy each day trying to decide “should I or shouldn’t I?”
I look forward to connecting with you again in 2010 my friend!
smiling,
Koren
Your post was inspiring. I think its amazing and inspiring that you are doing what you’re doing. Without having the guts to do it yourself, how could you be an effective life coach? So, good for you and good luck! Thanks for sharing with us!
Can I just say how much freakin’ fun we are going to have together this year!!
I’m only two paragraphs in and already I’m carried away with thoughts of brilliant conversations and discussions with you!!
back to reading …
Fab piece, my friend. You know I’m a huge fan of having our cake and eating it too – but I’m feeling the “five” right along with you this time.
“And it’s a big shift. Because right now? I’ve got about 20 individual clients. And the paradigm for many coaches is a plethora of clients. For many coaches, that’s their bread and butter. The source of most of their revenue. And I’m letting that go.”
Thanks Michele for sharing.
I wish you the best.
Jose
Wow, great post. I was just thinking about the limited amount of energy we have each day and thought maybe we simply have less energy the older be get but after I read your post it seems much more fitting that the currency rate simply changed. What used to cost 50 unites of energy 10 years back, costs now 120 units but at the same time other stuff that would have required 150 unites a decade ago is now available for 60 unites. Maybe our energy layout is ever changing if we want it or not.