There Is A Way

There is always a way.

Through any challenge.

In the face of any fear.

No matter how tough.

There is always a way.

You may need to ask for help to get there.

You may have to be a little vulnerable.

You might have to open yourself to receiving… something. From someone.

Someone you might not even expect could be in the position to help.

That’s usually the way.

And the result – the outcome – may be completely different from what you expect.

[But maybe the trouble in the first place was what you were expecting.]

The way through requires softening, and opening, and receiving.

Which is the opposite of forcing, and foot-stomping, and stubborn close-mindedness.

That is, of course, unless you don’t really want a way through.

If you’d really prefer to stay right here, right where you’re stuck.

Because at least here you know what the rules are.

And you don’t have to do anything at all to stay in this place.

You could be here… forever.

Now, feel that: stuck forever.

Then, feel this: there is a way.

Which feels more like relief? Like laying down your burden?

Like walking on through, on the right path for you?

I thought so.

Now is the time for you to do this, my friend.

Open. Soften. Receive.

It’s the way through. Through it all.

Toward where it is you know you want to go.


Meaning & Purpose Made Plain

photo: Michele Woodward via Instagram

 

 

 

I know your life’s purpose. In fact I know the purpose of every human on this planet, because I believe we all share the same one.

Your life’s purpose is to be a force for good in the world. That’s it. That’s all.

And you get meaning from the way you choose to create good.

So, a nurse is doing good by healing patients. She finds meaning by making sure they get the right medications at  right time, making sure they have what they need and are comfortable.

An investment broker who approaches her work with the idea that she’s going to help her clients plan for a successful retirement can find meaning in creating the right portfolio, the right risk mix. She might even find meaning in teaching people how to finally relate better to their money, so they can reach their goals.

A guy working in a bowling alley can feel an enormous sense of purpose in running a clean, well-functioning set of lanes that allow people to exercise, socialize and be part of a community. So even re-setting the pins can be deeply meaningful, if it allows all of that good stuff to continue.

See?

Purpose: To do good.

Meaning: How you choose to do good.

Now, there are three things that can interfere with meaning and purpose. First, is fear. If you have the idea in your head that the only way to stay safe is to be really, really, really rich, and believe that there is no money in “doing good”, you are going to serve the fear and take the highest paying job possible, regardless. You might work in a large investment house where you make multiple on-paper deals which generate on-paper profits that merely get shared among the partners. In this case, you are only working to allay the fear, rather than to do good – catch that? – and life can feel very shallow and unfulfilled.

But a solution exists. You shift to doing good while in a similar job – maybe handle investments for a state’s retirement program, maybe commit some earnings to support a charity, maybe mentor some kid who could use a break. But you have to move out of fear and into doing good to get that deep sense of purpose and meaning which are missing.

The second thing that hampers your move toward purpose is The Killer “Should”. As in, “I should be a doctor/lawyer/Indian chief because that’s what my parents are/want for me/expect.” The problem is that if you are only doing whatever you’re doing to please others, it’s likely that doesn’t feel good – right at your core. Enter nasty habits like passive aggressiveness, self-sabotage and feeling like a fraud.

Again, the only way to turn this situation around is to look at where you can best be a force for good in the world. Where do you need to be to do good? Then do it. Whatever it takes.

And the Great Wall of China standing between you and your purpose might be your ego. Your ego may be sweet talking you that the purpose of life is to be admired, loved, maybe even put on a pedestal. You know you are put on this earth to do something great. Really great. But doing good is really secondary to your true mission – being loved and admired. Which is why the sometime hard work of doing good feels so empty. You don’t necessarily feel the love when you’re reviewing spreadsheets all by yourself, do you?

The key is to simply shift. Put doing good first, and then you may find that your ego gets everything it needs from the result of all you create.

Time after time, I see people suffering from working in a place that doesn’t work for them. They feel burned out, and unsure. It’s like the air’s been knocked out by a sucker punch and they don’t know how to get back on their feet.

The quickest way, the most fulfilling way, the happiest way, is to start asking yourself: “Did I do good today?” And knowing that you’ll be asking that question, tackle things that will allow you to say, “Yes.  Yes, I did.”

And if you work in a place where it’s impossible to do any good at all, whatsoever, get yourself to a new place where you can. Don’t wait.

You can thank me later. When you happily find that you are living your purpose every day with a deep sense of meaning.

Hope.

There are people who will tell you that hope is not a strategy.  And I completely understand that perspective, especially when I hear my mother’s voice in my ear saying, “Wishin’ don’t make it so” (and she would throw on her twangiest twang as she said it, too).

But hope can be a powerful, powerful thing – especially when it’s tied to a really clear vision of the future.

Have you got hopes?  Could you make a list of them? A list of your dreams?  Your vision of the future?

I know I can.

I hope I’m healthy into my old age.

But wishin’ don’t make it so, does it?

What do I have to do to make my hope a reality?

Feed myself nourishing foods, get moderate exercise, see the doctor from time to time, have friends, enjoy myself.

Looking at it that way, doesn’t getting older seem like a ton of fun?

I hope I’m financially secure throughout my life.

Again, wishin’ ain’t gonna fill up my bank account.  So what do I need to do?

Work smart, invest well, save responsibly, spend reasonably.

[I like that - especially the work smart part.]

I hope I’m always connected to engaged, happy, fun, caring people.

Well, to be connected with engaged, happy, fun, caring people, I need to make sure that I’m engaged, happy, fun and caring myself.

You never get what you aren’t willing to give, do you?

The exciting prospect is that to achieve this I get to keep learning new things, doing new things, meeting new people.  I also get to be open, and vulnerable, and nurturing.

Now, that sounds like a wonderful way to live.

I hope my children are happy adults.

You know what?  I’m going to take that back. Let me be more specific.

I hope my children are good partners.  Good parents.  Good neighbors.  Good friends.  I hope they find meaningful work.  I hope they remain in touch with their own resilience.

I hope they find joy.

I hope they have hope.

Because hope is a vision of how the future might be.

How our lives could possibly be if we just line up square behind that hope and make it a reality.

Just like rock breaks scissors, darlings, hope squashes fear.

We hope we can, so we do.

Like magic.

Hope, when it’s backed up by steps toward a vision of your own creation – yes, in that case, hoping sure does make it so.

 

[photo credit:  Michele Woodward]

Confidence vs. Fear



Fear is the anticipation of future failure.

Confidence is the anticipation of future success.

So which do you choose?

[bang.]

It’s Hard (At The Beginning)











Sometimes we don’t even want to start.  Because we know it will be hard.

Maybe too hard.

Maybe we’ll fail.

So we don’t start.

At all.

We live in perpetual waiting – waiting for the time that doing the thing won’t be hard at all.

Sometimes that’s a long time to wait. Feels like forever.

Forever is a long time. But now is right here.

So, take a deep breath. Let’s acknowledge that it can be hard at the beginning.

But then it gets easier.

Like when you took your first wobbly walk.  What if your parents said, “Now, walking is hard. You can fall and hurt yourself. Why don’t you wait until you can do it flawlessly?”

But they didn’t say that, did they?  They applauded your every step, and probably snapped your picture a time or two. And called Grandma to crow about you and your success.

You smiled your drooly smile and kept going.

And at some point, you could run.

And it wasn’t hard.

It was fun.

That’s still the promise.

Keep going.  Even when it’s hard.  You’re learning, you’re figuring it out.

And, soon, you’ll be running, effortlessly.

Free.