I dunno. Maybe it’s just me. Or most of my clients. But I have a feeling it could be you, too.
A little exhausted, frazzled, distracted, uncertain? Sound like you? Sounds a teensy-tiny bit familiar to me.
So let me ask us a question:
“What do you want more than anything right now?”
Stop. You have an immediate answer, don’t you? That’s your gut talking to you.
And you immediately reject your gut, because what it’s saying isn’t politically correct, or is hugely inconvenient, or it’s not what you’re supposed to want.
Am I right?
But, let me tell you that if you want to feel better — more passionate, happier, alive — you have to pay attention to that poor little rejected feeling. Because the first glimmer is the key to unlocking whatever it is that’s holding you back.
If what you want right now is: a rest, a new job, peace and quiet, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, no friends, children, your children to be quiet, your children to get the hell out of the house — take a deep breath and hold the idea of getting what you want in your mind. Believe you’ve actually achieved it. You’re really living it.
How’s that feel?
Blissful? I’ll bet it does.
Then, my friend, perhaps you should consider pursuing that which you want more than anything. Right now.
Which might mean something might have to change.
Beth recently asked me, “Does all change start with a crisis? Cuz it sure seems like it.” I answered her with, “There seem to be three ways that change gets started. In the first instance, there’s some sort of crisis that’s external — the shock of a sudden death, or an accident, or your spouse suddenly announces he’s been seeing a 19 year old pole dancer named Tiffani. It comes, often without warning, from outside sources.
“Another kind of change comes from an internal source — realizing you have to start being yourself, for example, or an uncomfortableness with the status quo — and that’s the second way. It comes from inside you, and probably doesn’t involve Tiffani. The third way is perhaps more subtle — it’s change that you’re only aware of after it’s done. Think of it this way — it’s when you study and practice a language and then one day realize you’re thinking in that new language.”
So, let’s all think in a new language. The old language may look like this, “I want everyone to think I’m a great, involved mother, so asking the kids to go outside to play would mean I’m a failure”, and the new language is, “I will be a better, rested, more engaged mother if I can get a little time to myself.”
The old language may be, “Everyone expects me to be a CPA for the rest of my life,” and the new language may be, “I really want to be a park ranger.”
The old language may be, “If I show how much I want an intimate partner, I’ll look desperate,” and the new language is, “I can only get what I want if I’m completely honest with myself and others.”
So, be completely honest. What do you want more than anything right now?
And what does that tell you about what you need to do next?